tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71596631410869780232024-03-13T14:17:51.008-07:00StilettoRamblerMaking mistakes in life, love and self healing is better than faking perceptions. this blog is a no nonsense homage against all societal relationship norms, its about celebrating the value of straight talk, growing and living a more fulfilling life.
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.comBlogger87125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-64631983850517946792018-01-04T04:23:00.001-08:002018-01-04T04:25:05.057-08:00<h2>
<u><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Stocktaking, Fading Friendships and Slow </span></span></u></h2>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">How often do we ask ourselves if our friendships are past there “best - before dates?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">2017 was a very self-empowering year for me because I got to learn that auditing and editing friendships is a healthy way to ensure that the people in our lives are there because we value them and they us.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We have respect for one another and most of all our friendships are based on a foundation of being mutually beneficial for both parties.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We are not friends out of convenience, we are not friends because of mutual friends, we are not friends because we share a past and we are certainly not friends out of obligation or guilt, in actual fact we are friends purely because we value each other and most importantly because<b> we choose</b> to have each other in our lives.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It was completely freeing to have a honest conversation with myself after some much needed stocktaking, about the fact that there are friendships in my journey that are simply fading… and that those that are not fading are dying a slow death and <b><i>should I feel that they are no more of value it is OK to let these people go.<o:p></o:p></i></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There are a million reasons why a friendship may change over time. A million reasons why we maybe need to let them go and I realized the only one thing that was keeping these useless friendships in my life was conditioned obligation and fear.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Nobody wants to hurt anybody, nobody wants to reject people that they have spent years, moments and memories with, but at the same time nobody wants to be treated like a drive-thru.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So it dawned on me that one of the hardest things to navigate is that moment, that moment when you realize that you have out grown a friend or two or three.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I have come to realize that we as people are shit scared of letting relationships run their course and instead we hang on to the past, what <b><u>was</u></b>, how it <b><u>was</u></b>, how great our relationships <b><u>were</u></b>, the memories, how close we <b><u>use to be,</u></b> the amount of years we have been homies, without having an honest look as to what ACTUALLY IS.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We can blatantly see; or at least I could, that these people in my life either no longer served a purpose or have been cruising through under the guise of “friendship” … “ten years” “high school”… “best friend”... closest confidants etc. </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">or they seemingly just simply have been missing in my life and all its milestones….. But like the little nostalgia addicts that we are … we solider the fcuk on.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We allow them space in our hearts, time in our lives ; a glimpse into our worlds, without daring to sit back, take stock of the friendship and realize that it is indeed fading and that maybe we should LET IT die the slow death that it is suppose to.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Rather we turn a blind eye to all the times they have cancelled on us, the times that they are simply too busy, the moments when we are making all the efforts, or how they may be choosing to spend their time with other people whom now better suit their lifestyles.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Communications starts to dwindle, life “apparently” gets in the way and by the time you look around it has been months to a year that you have engaged in anything SLIGHTLY resembling a friendship or relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Don’t get me wrong friendship by no means, means spending every waking hour together, we are all grown ups now.. but there are some things that constitute a relationship, caring, interest and love.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So here’s my advice for 2018 as you do your stocktaking:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #b45f06;">First and foremost, auditing and editing friendships is a healthy way to ensure that you are looking out for yourself and that you are putting your inner peace and best interest first.</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Then let a so-so friendship that’s no longer working for you FADE OUT, let it die the slow death, you cannot fight if no one is going to climb into the ring with you, if it’s not mutually beneficial for you both then let it go, easier said than done, I know ….but do it afraid if you have too.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If a friendship starts to feel like an obligation, or if you feel guilt, you may be trying to give too much. If your giving what you can and it’s not being reciprocated with genuine care then the truth is that it’s no longer mutually beneficial, file it under fading, and then treat it as such.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We all need to be realistic about the ways we can engage with others and how often they are if at all meeting us half way. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We need to realize that our love and care is GOLDEN and it’s not a fcuken given or a god dam free for all.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Similarly for Friends who ONLY call you when they need something, friends whom keep you well informed about themselves and their lives; but don’t even know or care to ask about yours …. Hmmm let that friendship fade, it’s not mutually beneficial you’re simply a crutch to them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Then this one goes without saying but it was a great bone to chew on for me... toxic friends …they are like a disease and your wasting your time with these joy stealers.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I don’t care what and how great whatever and whomever <b><u>use to</u></b> be, if they have become soul sucking joy stealers cut cut cut – file under slow death treat as such.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You need to realize that people <i>can</i> stay in your hearts, but they no longer get a front row seat to your life, by all means say a little prayer for them and wish them well.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 17.12px;">Then lastly </span><span style="line-height: 17.12px;">moving on doesn’t mean forgetting all of the wonderful ways you and your friends connected in the past. You can continue to love them beyond the times of late night phone calls and regular get-togethers.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 17.12px;">But It’s a new year and the great thing about new year’s is that we get to do a bit of stocktaking, we get to reflect on things we can do better, milestones we would like to reach and things we want to get rid off like the bottom feeders in our lives that call themselves friends.<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Your thoughts<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">StilettoRambler<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-22259610988211134602017-08-29T02:04:00.000-07:002017-08-29T02:04:31.695-07:00<h2>
<u><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="color: orange; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Daddy Issues - Whats Yours?</span></span></u></h2>
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<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Fathers play such a vital role when
it comes to women developing a healthy male relationship or even a healthy
relationship with herself.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">They also deeply fcuk us up and we
do very little in realising just how badly they broke us and what we need to do
to heal from their affections or lack of affections.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">What we do instead is jump into the
dating pool, and or friendships to tackle the very things that broke us in some
way or another with our issues NEATLY intact, and then later we complain
because other people are the problem.(smh)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I must declare up front that I have
been asked many times, why I have never shared my opinion on daddy issues and
to be honest; I have been sitting on this post for some time now ; it’s the kind of post that throws me WAY out of my comfort zone,
merely because it’s something that took me a while to fully grasp, I have still
been growing with it and I am still learning from it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I hope to offend you with this post,
because if I offend you, I have pushed you a little bit out of your comfort
zone; and let’s admit it; that’s where growth happens.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Here is the ugly truth, your
relationship, and situation - ship, dating life, marriages, or any other
situation where you find yourself continuously dealing with the same BS in your
life whether it things such as boundary
issues, respect, vulnerability, emotional availability and or pride.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Things that cause you, in the end,
to be alone or with a douche bag is because you have daddy issues meaning YOU:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">A – Haven’t forgiven your father;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">B – Haven’t realised that you have
issues with him.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">C- You are still angry with him and you’re
trying to deal with those hurts through dating different variations of him; or <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">D –You idolise your father SO much and
that is causing your love life to slowly wither away and die.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Relationships are a very big deal
for us as humans; because we are social creatures; yet we do <i>very</i> little to see how our relationships
with our dads have shaped our dating habits or even friendships. I can tell I have, and not only is it frightening to see the different variations of my father in different friends and people, but its also a major growing - curve and giant leap towards being the best version of yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">What I do see more than I would like
too, <b>is women dating different
variations of the <i>issues </i>they had
with their dads</b> or <b>idolising their
fathers to such an extent that they never find a partner because their ideals
are very unrealistic </b>and the men that they try to date just land up leaving
and feeling inadequate.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I also see friendships built on the
issues daddy left us with, I have seen people trying to overcompensate and bend
in a friendship because they don’t want to lose love or be rejected, I have seen people let
their boundaries be driven over with a tractor because they never had the chance
to establish there own, I have seen people bully and get bullied because that’s all
they ever saw daddy do.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">if your a women, father is your first love they say.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">So there is my question for you
today....what’s your daddy issue?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Do you only date older men?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 39.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">Have you realised
that you are struggling with a sense of security and these silver foxes are your
different variations of the same person\ problem. ..Because daddy never really
provided or he was the only one to really coddle and understand you so younger men can never compete?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 39.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Are you overly protective; jealous
or clingy?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 39.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">Because you didn’t
grow up with him at home and now you smoother your man because you’re afraid he
will leave you too?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 39.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> Are you miss monogamy the serial monogamist?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 39.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">You saw just how devastating
it was for your mother when he left, or how she struggled without him; <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 39.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">So now you serially
date because it’s taboo to be man-less? Or you want to prove to</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 39.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">yourself that you
are a better person then he was? that you can commit<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 39.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">So you bounce from
one relationship to another without any thought or growth? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 39.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">Or even worse you
stay in a long term unfulfilling relationship because it’s safe?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 39.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Are you the very stubborn
self-reliant women?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 39.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><i><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">“Who
don’t need no man”</span></i><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"> can look after
herself and will never be emotionally available or vulnerable to anyone,
because for as long as you knew; daddy was just pure trash, a non existent pillar for you to lean on and all you gots is yourself?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Or are you the classic overly
promiscuous girl?</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 39.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">That only got
compliments from daddy because of your beauty or great outfit and now
you think sex is power, that is how to get a mans attention and thus throw yourself into meaningless overnight
relationships with jerks who couldn’t bother to remember your name, because
attention and real validation was missing?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 39.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Offended yet? No?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Great; then you won’t mind me telling you to
stop playing the victim to douche bag men and throwing pity parties because you haven’t done the real work?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">And I can also add that your heartache
is completely self-afflicted because you are a grown ass educated women that
can afford the world and maybe even balances books for major corporations but
you can’t have a healthy relationship? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Funny how we can balance books, run multi-million
dollar campaigns but cannot sort out our own issues…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Here is the deal; there ARE men out
there who are NOT like your father, and there are decent men out there who can
be the start of a beautiful journey; but hear me and trust me when I say:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">Your A$$ will not find him, will not find your
happily ever after, until you tackle those cracks in your SELF then deal and
heal</span></b><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;">. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Learn to understand your weaknesses
as a person,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Work to conquer them and I promise you that
things will start to fall into place. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">So that the next time you venture
out into the murky waters of relationships your weaknesses will have turned
into the tools you need to use to forge a healthy mutually respectable relationship
built on trust, respect and love.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Until that day you will continue to
date different variations of your daddy or sit in different variations of boundary
issues, respect issues, vulnerability issues, emotional unavailability and or
pride.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">All in an attempt to heal.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">You will continue to
date daddies controlling nature or daddies lack of security or daddy the jerk who
only validated you based nonsensical twaddle.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">There is a saying that goes
something in the lines of;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> “<i>When a
vase falls onto the floor it cracks and even though you glue it back together
it will never be the same again” <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">That’s all and well, but I will let
you know, that I would rather date a broken glued up vase because at best it
can still carry water and keep a plant alive.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Then a pieces of shattered glass laying on the floor because she hasn’t sorted herself out.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Your thoughts?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-ZA" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">StilletoRambler </span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-87441196027835140792017-05-08T05:04:00.001-07:002017-05-08T05:05:39.434-07:00<h2>
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><u><span style="color: #990000;">BRIDE. MATCH. BURN - WHEN IS IT TIME </span></u></span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><u><span style="color: #990000;">TO LEAVE A
RELATIONSHIP</span><span style="color: #cc0000;">.</span></u></span></span></span></h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QbevHrHEhYQ/WRBbgjkD9OI/AAAAAAAAAmQ/fhQChdfvDbI1TQrrRbO7YyE1H-OZqlAbQCLcB/s1600/SET%2BFIRE.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="520" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QbevHrHEhYQ/WRBbgjkD9OI/AAAAAAAAAmQ/fhQChdfvDbI1TQrrRbO7YyE1H-OZqlAbQCLcB/s640/SET%2BFIRE.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are a few things in life that can take your heart;steer your mind and change your <i>being</i>
as much as a relationship can; because they are very important elements in all
of our lives.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They are some of the craziest, trickiest journeys we will
ever go on and that’s why it’s important to weed out the wrong ones, and nurture
and grow the right ones.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But obviously that is easier said than done, because some
as we know will be blessings and some lessons, but which one is which seems to
remain one of those great life mysteries.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> As some of us have seen and experienced with relationships; they will always continue to surprise you. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Like when time gets tough or better yet when good things
happens in your life …people will leave you.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When it comes to them benefiting over you, people will
betray you.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Your thinking they have changed, I am thinking they are
just slowly revealing themselves.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then there are so many fake A$$ people, your just not able
to separate the wolves from the sheep and lastly even the best relationships
will not last forever.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Stand on your head;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sell your soul if you want, but last forever they won’t.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Having taken part in reasons, seasons and lifetimes and the
joys and lessons they have bestowed on me
over the years.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I wanted to share with you my one and only tool.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">The tool I use to let of go of the soul suckers, peace
stealer's and joy crushers that I have come across over my lifetimes as</span> it saddens and irritates me to no end when I see
people still stuck with nonsense and calling it a relationship or a friendship.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> The tool I use consist
of two words.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%; text-indent: -18pt;">Affected? Or Infected? (aka contaminated)</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 39.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Are you affected or infected?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <b>If you are able to affect the person in your relationship and they are
also affecting you in a positive; cherished and nurtured way - you are still
good to GO.<o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But it
you find that you are no longer being affected but negatively infected,
tainted, damaged, and polluted. I belief it’s time to walk over the bridge you have built with each other; set it on fire and let it go.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you
need some more time for closure, watch it burn.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #38761d;">AFFECTED POSITIVELY: STAY GROW AND NURTURE.</span><span style="color: lime;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #990000;"> INFECTED NEGATIVELY LEAVE.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the end you need to realize that your peace is your
power and if someone is stealing your joy or infecting you instead of positively
affecting you then it’s time to leave that relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We need to keep strife out of our lives, and we are the
only people that can ensure that we cancel out bitterness, strife and offense.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Don’t spend time building walls, don’t take time to hold
onto anger. Just ask yourself if you are being affected or infected.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Therein lies your your
freedom and peace.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Your Thoughts?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>StilettoRambler</b></span></div>
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-75434048077862941542017-04-21T00:27:00.000-07:002017-04-21T00:44:04.788-07:00<h2>
<b><u><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 107%;"><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">THE
BS OF THE BOYFRIEND - HUSBAND </span></span></u></b></h2>
<h2>
<b><u><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 107%;"><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">BEST FRIEND BANDWAGON SYNDROME</span></span></u></b></h2>
<div>
<b><u><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 107%;"><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></span></u></b></div>
<div>
<b><u><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 107%;"><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></span></u></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OcHw9H0h7Tc/WPjU1Edt4AI/AAAAAAAAAl0/bPO57Onl-nMqbIIdpjBiR4RRpJFtJceZwCEw/s1600/bandwagon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="384" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OcHw9H0h7Tc/WPjU1Edt4AI/AAAAAAAAAl0/bPO57Onl-nMqbIIdpjBiR4RRpJFtJceZwCEw/s640/bandwagon.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<b><u><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"> </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I would
like to tackle the whole belief that your boyfriend\husband and best friend
should be the same person because I totally disagree, no i am lying i dont disagree i think its absolute nonsense.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">If you are one of those people who are on that band wagon then Kudos to you, but I am just not seeing how we can be well rounded partners for our loved ones if we have all our eggs in one basket.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">With this Boyfriend
best friend band wagon syndrome nonsense! </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I mean really, can a girl live? what world
do these people live in?, in what world are these two elements even the same? Has the
world lost its mind because I think thats its the craziest thing i have ever come across.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="line-height: 107%; text-indent: -18pt;">When you’re not being treated well,
you will compromise yourself by staying longer than you should because you have
made your partner your bestie and isolated
yourself.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">You will find it hard to stand up
for yourself and you will stay and take BS for longer.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="line-height: 107%; text-indent: -18pt;">Best friends talk about
everything—period issues, gross bodily functions, men, the random frienemy at work - you name it. There’s no filter - trying to talk your boyfriends \husbands ear
off about these things, is not only “ not a good look” or very boring to them, but I can’t see it doing any wonders for the bedroom and or romance either.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 107%; text-indent: -18pt;">Your standing without any support
best friends are there to be confided in, allow you to off load and be one of
your pillars, make sure you maintain, no man is an island and say what you want but your girl and man have lives and interests too that dont only equate being all about you.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 107%; text-indent: -18pt;">A LOT of unhappiness is because of lack
of time for the self - we are all human
beings with different interests and expecting or even trying to turn your
partner into your bestie is the start to compromising yourself and a healthy
relationship.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"> Your own
needs must be given some priority so that, as a fulfilled person, you can then
be in a position to be more generous with your partner and others around you.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">You are an individual, who knows what keeps you happy and what keeps you sane, so make sure you choose every day to be best person you can be
for your partner and if that means time out with your homies or girls over
lunch or drinks that’s perfectly fine too.</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></span></span>
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Because I have met and seen some women and men who
have ghosted into long term relationships over the years and most seem deeply
unhappy and in my rationality - if you’re not happy.. How can you be a good
wife or girlfriend?!?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Having recently gotten married and stepping out
of my writing hibernation, one of the most interesting pieces of advice I kept
on receiving from anyone who had “<i>been
there”</i> and felt experienced enough in the marriage arena is that <b><i>“ There
is no place for friendships in marriage and that your husband is now to become your bestie.”<o:p></o:p></i></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">These two things to most people seem to be
mutually exclusive and we have all witnessed how many girlfriends\homies we
have lost to long term relationships and how many have straight up ghosted us after
marriage.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Almost like marriage is the “ Rite of passage to
loneliness and everything you knew socially is simply no longer allowed Crazy I know..also YAWN</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I was warned by divorcees that this means the
end of knowing my single friends or friendship as I knew it, I was welcomed to the club by my married friends cause now its somehow
easier for us to hang out !?1 “ now that we have soooo much more in common” and
I was warned by my elders that’s its time I put this friendship and having my
own life foolery aside and step up and fulfill my duties as a wife. ….. AGAIN ...YAWN<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Anyway being that I have no time for what our single
celled amoeba society thinks; I listened, but never really gave my thoughts on it
at the time.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Fast-forward a few months and I am sitting on
the plane watching Blackish, and the episode was focused around the premise
that our partners, husbands, and boyfriends are at some point or another supposed
to take on the role or become our best friend or long term and only confidant AKA best friend.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">This all gets played out by Dre’s best friend
Gigi coming over to spend some time with him and how Rainbow and Dre deal with
it (Season 2 eps 11 ...watch it)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Here we are again I am thinking! </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></span>
</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I sometimes wonder if society puts any thought
behind the baseless things and stupid sheeple indoctrination's it tries to force
down our throats.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">seriously though...</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Show me a happy isolated girlfriend or wife? no please show me? Show me the boyfriends and husbands that are happy to talk about menses and messed up cycles, the bachelor, and wash day regimes?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Show me the partners who aren’t taping the game
because as your only and bestie they need to go to the art gallery with you and are desperately
trying to avoid social media so they can still watch their game.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Boyfriend\ Husband Best Friend Band Wagon my
A$$...PUHLeaaaase!</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Can we get real and do what realistic and not retarded?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Don’t get me wrong all relationships are sacred
and should be protected and respected, communication should be open and honest
and by this I mean your business does not have to be hung out in the streets. BUT
let’s say, however, that you want to go to a movie or a meal out or maybe just</span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"> for some drinks.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">What if your partner prefers a different movie
than the one you want to see?</span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"> Or a different type of restaurant food? </span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">What if he or she would prefer <b><i>not
to go</i></b> to a movie at all but to a sports event or an art museum? and lands up dragging their feet the whole night?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Do you then forego what you want for the sake of
couple harmony and boyfriend best bandwagon syndrome?</span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"> If so you might find yourself living
your life via someone else’s choices rather than your own because you claimed
this partner- bestie life and that i believe is never going to lead to a healthy mutually beneficial
relationship but instead to resent and feeling lonely in your relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">So whats my isssue? whats my reasons for thinking that these entities should
be kept separate:</span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">well: </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">
</span></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 18.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">In the end I strongly feel that you need to be
your own best friend first. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I prefer to keep these two elements very separate
entities because my partner is the person I am in love with, my lover , my forever, my warm; passionate and wonderful.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"> My best friends are built from years and
years of cultivating a relationship based on common interests, respect and epic
amounts of alcohol filled nonsense from unfiltered conversations about nonsensical twaddle like hair extensions, hair dressers,aliens and nights out clubbing, to holding each other’s
hands through heartache as well as each others hair up at the end of the night in the bathroom end of a heavy
night.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Don’t fall into this trap, dont climb onto this band wagon if you dont want to and you don’t feel guilty about it either.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Your thoughts?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">StilettoRamble</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">r</span></b></span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-63602560992551280932017-02-01T02:08:00.000-08:002017-02-01T06:28:27.547-08:00<h2>
<span style="color: #134f5c;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><u>CONQUERING</u></b></span><b><u><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> THE WEAKNESSES IN YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></span></h2>
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Oriah
mountain dreamer wrote “It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know
if you will risk looking like a fool for love; for your dream; for the
adventure of being alive.</span></i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">A very big part of life for me revolves not just around knowing
your worth, establishing your boundaries and striving to make this short time
on this planet meaningful it’s also about self-mastery and taking accountability
for all things you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Which brings me to how quickly we criticise what our loved
ones and friends don’t do enough of and don’t do correctly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> Actions of course
seen through our broken windows and incorrect perceptions, it sees us quickly
throwing away the responsibility of being loved correctly by ourselves onto
others and then to add insult to injury we
not only push the blame onto others, we also choose to run away or make loaded statements
like:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">You
don’t love me, or I am clearly not appreciated or good enough.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">So what do you complain \ blame others for or about most
often? And where did you get taught that that’s okay? because as far as I am concerned
taking care of yourself is your very own responsibility.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">So to better help you understand your love language it you don’t
know it by now.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">When you say to your partner, “I don’t think you would ever
touch me if I did not initiate it,” you are revealing that physical touch is
your love language. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">When your partner goes on a business trip and you say, “You
didn’t bring me anything?” you are indicating that receiving gifts is your
language. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> “We don’t ever spend
time together,” indicates the love language of quality time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Failure to meet these needs I have noticed sees most of us
flat spinning and lashing out hurt and all sorts of painful things, being a
culprit of this myself, I started
thinking about mastering our love languages or should I say better managing ourselves
interim's of it, cause let’s face it, whether we like it out not<b><i><o:p></o:p></i></b></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We
all display love a little differently. We need to stop making other people
accountable for how we receive love, and while we are teaching others how to love
us, we need to learn to better manage our love languages low self-esteem by ourselves.</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Some of us just like to shower our loved ones with praise and
affirmation. Others convey love through physical touch. Some of us want nothing
more than to give gifts to the people we care about, whereas others prefer to
run errands for friends and loved ones.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> Some people don’t
always display affection overtly but prefer to spend time around the people
they love as a means of expressing their investment and that’s just that. it doesn't mean your not loved. it doesn't mean your not cared for so instead of lashing out start teaching and taking accountability.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Where the mastery comes in for me is in how we deal with the
ID of our self-esteems low self-esteem, that nagging primitive part in us that’s
wants love NOW! And want it OUR-WAY! And WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">It’s time we shut up that sa</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">botage- er- er and work ourselves from the inside out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I thought it’s time we had a candid conversations about our
love languages and how to conquer them by ourselves and for the sake of sanity and to move towards healthy
relationships.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I have talked a lot about understanding your love language,
but I have come to realize that for most people this means,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<li style="text-align: justify;">1<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 107%; text-indent: -18pt;">google love languages</span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">2.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 107%; text-indent: -18pt;">do the test and see what they are,</span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">3-<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 107%; text-indent: -18pt;">Ask a partner or friend to do the same
to see what theirs is and that is that</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">granted this is what I want us to do as it’s a vital tool to have in our journey
to a mutually beneficial relationships </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> BUT </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">what I also meant is understand the negative
or ugly sides of your love languages so that you can better manage the
sabotager-er-ers or better manage your demands and expectations<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Because let’s face it. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><i>Understanding the good of something is useless without the
bad and it won’t make complete sense.</i><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">So here are some of the elements or dark wolves if you will;
of love languages as well as how best to deal with them, because if we don’t
learn to love ourselves we are not on a path of growth and cannot teach people
how to treat us. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Quality
time: “<i>We don’t ever spend time together”:<o:p></o:p></i></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><i><br /></i></span></b></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This can come across as being overly
needy at times, having unrealistic expectations on people’s time and isolating yourself
cause nobody gets it, spending time with them in a group is not spending time,
the TV becomes competition, the words busy and too tired will cause reigns of
terror to come your way, interruptions mean you don’t care and checking your cellophane
while with them can lead to all hell breaking lose.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The
ADVICE:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">If you’re a quality time person and
your partner does an act of service for you; instead of moaning and bitching
about not being spend time with, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I urge you to create this time for yourself.
Hear me create the Q- time for yourself, take charge of your screaming low love
language self-esteem; stop having a pity party and take the initiative to set
up the picnic or a dinner date or movie date. Or a walk in the park or one on
one session<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Take
charge and make sure that YOU get what you require from friends and lovers. It’s
your love language learn to be its maser not its slave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Receiver
of gifts: “You didn’t bring me anything” :<o:p></o:p></span></i></b><br />
<b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">These are the people that will be the
first to peak into grocery bags when you drop them on the counter at home to see whats there for them.</span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Thrives
on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift.</span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Or keeps a grudge against you when you didn’t bring
them something from a trip even after they said “I don’t need anything”</span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">A missed birthday, anniversary, or a
hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">They literally determine how well you
know them and how much thought you put in based on the gift that you bought.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The
ADVICE:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">If you like to receive love in gift
form, I urge you to be realistic in as to when and how you can receive these gifts,</span><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 107%; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 107%; text-indent: -18pt;">Be open and honest with your lover and
friends by telling them that you would appreciate a small trinket from their travels for example there is nothing wrong with being clear in your communication with regards to
your needs and no it doesn’t make it unromantic it just equips your partner
with the love tools they need to fill your love bank</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Spoil yourself, your allowed to gift
yourself nothing is wrong with that, stop waiting on it from others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">It’s your love language learn to be its
maser not its slave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Acts
of Service: “if you loved me, you would
do something around here.”:<o:p></o:p></span></i></b><br />
<b><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">These are the folks that like to do
something for their loved one. Cooking a meal, washing dishes,running an
errand, first to the scene of the crime when there is drama, willing to drive
the long road while you sleep and will still get the car washed when you reach your holiday destination.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Acts of service people are very quick to feel misused
and unappreciated because for them love IS work made visible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The
ADVICE:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">If you’re an acts of service person, I urge
you to ask for assistance in your tasks, a lot of times you will find a lot of
joy when your friend or partner performs these acts of love with you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Set up a schedule for chores so that
you don’t find yourself always working.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
know you don’t mind, but your teaching your spouse to not be a partner in what
you need.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Reward the smallest act of service you receive;
because yours is the toughest love language to see as it gets mistaken for
duty.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Rewarding
other acts of service in whatever way, shows your appreciation for it witch thus
indicates that your act was not out of duty as a friend or lover or partner but
out of love, something that gets miss looked often.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Ask for help. Don’t do it all alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">It’s your love language learn to be its
maser not its slave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Physical
touch: <i>“I don’t think you would ever
touch me if I did not initiate it,”:<o:p></o:p></i></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><i><br /></i></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: symbol; font-size: 10pt;">·</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">these </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 107%;">are the people that will literally
count on their fingers when last you were intimate with them or held there hand
in public, because for them there is a
real chemical reaction that happens in the body upon touch, and they NEED it to
feel loved.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">They revel in spas AND being given baths because even though
touch is not always intimate, it’s welcomed.</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="line-height: 107%; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">it’s a hug to say hi, a kiss to say
sorry , a pat on the back to say I am here and an overall obsession with
physical expression</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The
ADVICE:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">If you’re a physical touch person, stop
counting the big intimate touches and try and focus on the small ones too. Touch
has many forms.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;">·</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="font-size: x-small; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">T</span></span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">hen ask for your touch, can I have a
back rub? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Do you mind if I just lay by your for a
bit? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Please massage my feet? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">It’s
important that you kiss me goodbye. </span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Work on removing yourself from your
routine environment as this can kill touch. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; text-indent: -18pt;">take the initiative to initiate IT.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s your love language learn to be its
maser not its slave.</span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><b>Affirmation: <i>It’s Not What You Said. It’s How You Said
It!”:</i></b><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">These are the people who want to be
affirmed or congratulated for putting a cup into a dish washer or for how great
a lover they are, or how brilliant and shiny they are, how well they love you,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">how unique there laugh is, how much of the world you mean to them, how much you need them , how much you want
them, and they want to hear this everyday 24\7, for an acts of service person
for instance ; who is busy visibly showing love, this can be exhausting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The
ADVICE:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Start affirming yourself, because if
you can’t tell yourself how great, or amazing and or brilliant a person you
are, you will live life filled with needing others to acknowledge you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This can lead you to people pleasing or having
a negative self-esteem due to the fact that your internal communication does
not match what you require from the outside world. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">·<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">You are brilliant, beautiful, and
special and a bright star and you don’t need others to constantly have to tell
you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">So with that said,<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> “<i>It doesn’t interest me what your love language is, I want to know how
deeply you can delve into it and conquer the demons within it. The demons that
keep you from loves true kiss. I want to know how true you can be to your
growth and self-mastery, <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I
want to know how willing you are to be your own hero, to be patient in your
teachings instead of waiting for someone else to fill those voids. -
StilettoRambler<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Your thoughts <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 107%;">StilletoRambler<o:p></o:p></span></div>
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-2577478146502399462016-11-30T01:40:00.001-08:002016-11-30T01:40:52.314-08:00<h2>
<span style="color: #741b47; font-size: x-large;">The Recovering Doormat </span></h2>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0ef98pbfXaA/WD6bqXHkYkI/AAAAAAAAAkI/a1MbOgDMXgQpsl7sZ2br_52pdZfjlWLGQCLcB/s1600/doormat2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0ef98pbfXaA/WD6bqXHkYkI/AAAAAAAAAkI/a1MbOgDMXgQpsl7sZ2br_52pdZfjlWLGQCLcB/s640/doormat2.jpg" width="604" /></a></div>
<div>
<div style="direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-top: 0pt; unicode-bidi: embed; word-break: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Arabic Typesetting"; font-size: 18pt; font-weight: bold;">"Don’t allow your wounds to turn you into
a person you are not"</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Its seems that more often than none beneath every strong
women or man lies a broken little girl or boy whom either has learnt to stand
up again and accept their past, moved on and have decided never to depend on
anyone again OR<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Hasn’t stood up yet
and is waiting to be found or rescued OR</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Constantly chooses
the role of the victim – the poor sap of a person who is nothing except a
product of their circumstances their pain and their broken pieces better known as t</span><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">he victim mentality.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">That person in your
life that’s lives with the “poor-me attitude”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Those friends or family member’s including ourselves who are
allergic to taking responsibility for our actions. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The believe that the
world is always against you and life is just SIMPLY unfair<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Those who are life’s constant underdogs, unfortunates, doomed
beings, that constantly demand rescuing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">What psychologists refers to as</span><i style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"> “people that are afraid of taking responsibility for their own wants
and desires and have a fear of failure
and unconsciously believe they are not deserving of having good things in their
life”.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The soul grating self.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The person who gets to take no accountability for their
life, ALWAYS gets the sympathy of others whether earned or demanded and gets to
burn bridges and spit fire to whomever comes in their way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">In the dictionary defined as an <b><span style="color: #741b47;">acquired (learned) personality trait</span></b><span style="color: red;"> </span>in which a person tends to regard themselves as a
victim of the negative actions of others, and behaves as if this were the case
even in the lack of clear evidence of such circumstances. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The master manipulators that suck sympathy out of you and
get to pass the buck on accountability and drain and drain and drain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I would like to tackle these draining personalities or
self-traits if you will, the soul scratching comfort zone also known as the
victim mentality.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Nothing grates my soul and irritates me more than people who
constantly blame life and circumstances for who they are today and why they are
the way that they are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I say this as a recovering doormat, a conqueror of the
victim personally, I say this after having met people who have overcome the
most devastating hurdles life can throw at them and are now pioneers of their
futures and not prisoners of their past.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I would like to reach out to those today, who love to life
in their misery, who have drinks with their pain and enjoy constant pity
parties but mostly I would like to share with them some thoughts on how to
sit with the broken, give a finger to the pain and cancel the plethora of pity
parties.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I always say this to people I meet, bad things can happened to
good people but great people take that experience take the lessons and build
their world to greatness so<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Firstly -get
over yourself- I mean this in the most loving way, stop being so selfish we are all broken in one way or another. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Aren’t you tired of rewriting the same script? Isn’t it
enough now already? seriously can we either accept the past, or leave the
situation or change the situation BECAUSE anything else is sheer madness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">And I am not talking about once, I am talking about every
single time your demons of pain and anger ,resentment or spite creep up, I urge you to you SAY OUT LOAD TO YOURSELF - the devil is a liar, then break the pattern and change your behaviour and attitude to towards the circumstance or thought.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Secondly when pain knocks on your door I want you to say,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> “Come in, sit with me, and leave only when you
have taught me what I need to know”</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i> But please now that just because you are
welcome in my home, that it doesn’t mean that you are to cripple me, because I am
healing, I am a recovering doormat and you are here to teach</i>! <i>and if you don’t come with real growth lessons,
please leave! My happiness and emotional health is who I chose and you are no
longer welcome”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I for one am a firm believer that I must (as in I am obligated ) to let the pain visit me, I must let the pain teach me, I must understand
that my circumstances have nothing to do with what my future will look like. But
I cannot allow the pain or brokenness to overstay its visit or cripple me,
because it will and if I don’t stay vigilant of it as in call it out when i see the lies my heads feeling me , I will find myself turning
the lady at the hair salon into my therapist, I will push away love, I will not
trust and I will find myself alone, angry unfortunate and doomed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">As friends or family of soul – graters, recovering doormats or
weather you are dealing with or confronting our own negativity its time to to stop validating the victim mentality. It’s time to stop partaking in
any any form of self- defeating drama from this point on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Instead we need to remind our recovering doormats that they
need to embrace their ability to recover and achieve. And we need to remind ourselves
before we pour another shot for “poor ol me”
that we to <b> need to stop validating our victim mentality
we need to not partake in all this self- defeating drama and embrace our
ability to <span style="color: red;">recover and achieve...recover and achieve..recover and achieve.</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Because do we want to be a prisoner of your past or do you
want to be a pioneer of YOUR future?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Your thoughts </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">StilettoRambler</span><o:p></o:p></div>
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-35680431730491077462016-10-28T05:04:00.002-07:002016-10-28T05:05:19.237-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large; line-height: 107%;"><b><u><span style="color: #274e13; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">S</span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #274e13;">TOP bullying your Self RESPECT!</span></span></u></b></span></h2>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HVtkVx1lako/WBMzTvxXJCI/AAAAAAAAAjc/n7byvTitUrU5k7X_s8qAfhQgffemWmvfACLcB/s1600/awe2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HVtkVx1lako/WBMzTvxXJCI/AAAAAAAAAjc/n7byvTitUrU5k7X_s8qAfhQgffemWmvfACLcB/s640/awe2.jpg" width="572" /></a></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #274e13;">Self-Respect</span></b> - A proper respect for oneself as a human
being - it is defined as holding yourself in <b><span style="color: red;">esteem</span></b> and <b><span style="color: red;">believing</span></b> that you are good and <b><span style="color: red;">worthy of being
treated well.<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><b><span style="color: red;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><b>Bullying</b></span><span style="color: blue;"> </span>- Abuse –nuff said.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A person with self-respect simply likes her- or himself. self-respect is not contingent on success because failure is a part of life. Neither is it a result of comparing ourselves with others because we are and can never be the same.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">for me, it means being true to yourself, being able to accept criticism but not allowing it to alter your inner being. it is not reliant on successes, social standing or wealth, its an inner confidence and assurance in yourself, its accepting your mistakes, it is about being true to yourself at all costs and most importantly, its about standing up for that truth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My truth is that I matter and therefore I deserve only the best, anything that tries to break that truth has gots to go.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My truth is that I am lovable and I deserve love - unrequited, unconditional love and any person or element that tries to challenge that truth has gots to go.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My truth is that I am worthy of living my best life and any person or element that thinks I dont, has gots to go.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My truth is that I believe in myself and my decisions and if you have a problem with that you have ..guessed it - GOTS TO GO.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What I have come to learn is that the only way that I can preserve the jewel that is my self- respect is by tackling all alien elements that try to attack it and the first place for me to usually start is inside.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So, this post is aimed at people who are constantly bullying their self respect into emotional disdain, pain, incivility and ungraciousness;</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">people that continue to have
friendships with emotionally unavailable friends and then go on to bully their self-respect in order to get back into a relationship with them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It’s for the gentlemen out there whom have been used time and time again because they are good peoples, and have managed to bully their self-respect into
still sticking around with the hope that she will see him for the king that he
is or because they think that after they pull off enough acts of service they will get the respect that they deserve.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It’s for the women out there who think that they can’t
get better and would rather rekindle lost love with an old flame or better yet
stay put in the hell hole that they are currently in because they can’t stand
up to their inner bully.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It’s for the person who got a great job offer at
another company, got a weak A$$ counter offer from their current employer and bullied
themselves into staying with the abusive boss because they like the coffee – (<i>okay
lets be fair that’s ridiculous, but what’s not ridiculous is some of the nonsensical things people put themselves through cause they are constantly
bullying their self-respect</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And lastly it’s for the person who is very quick to compliment
you on your attitude, outlook on life and or looks and THEN in the same breath
spits on themselves in front of you!!!!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You know them; </span></span></div>
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</div>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“I love those jeans on you…but I could never wear them
with my thighs”</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> “Your hair is
great like that, mine is to xyz to ever do that”</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“You know I care a lot about you, I just don’t want a
relationship right now”</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“I know they aren’t the world’s best spouse, but it’s
better than the crap that’s out there, have you seen how people struggle to
date lately”</span></li>
</ul>
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<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"> I think it’s
time we stop bullying our self-respect. </span>So if you are reading this and you’re a self-respect
bully – Just stop it– it’s not a good look.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It totally irks me, when I come across beautiful
healthy brimming functioning souls, and I listen to some of the things that
they say about themselves or the way that they rationalize nonsense to themselves.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It’s downright nasty and honestly I consider it - verbal and emotional assault on the self. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I don’t know how often I have encouraged people that
they need to get over themselves, ( and by that I mean that they think they are
above doing the work that they need to do on the self) or to stop
the pity partying, or to stop constantly
being negative and just get on with living their best lives.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I often ask people who are putting themselves through nonsense.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b> " have you met yourself?"</b> </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">cause if you did trust me when i say "<i>you wouldn't allow any of the crap you are putting yourself through"</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Its a fact; that when you talk to yourself
differently, your brain starts to create new thought patterns, it actually replaces the negative ones with more positive thoughts. so break those cycles and free yourself of this self created prison.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I promise you, that things will get better, but you
actually need to invest in that better. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You can do anything that
you want to; but positive action is required.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And if none has ever told you this, or your friends
are too busy enjoying your misery because it makes for great coffee dates then
here it is:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="line-height: 17.12px; text-indent: -18pt;">Emotionally unavailable friends that pull ultimatums on you and still want a friendship with your self-respect don’t deserve it BECAUSE YOU MATTER.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="line-height: 17.12px; text-indent: -18pt;">If they cannot commit to you – they are JUST not that into you let that go already - YOU DESERVE BETTER</span></span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"></span></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Rather the devil you know then the one you don’t, is a vapid senseless saying and I urge you to step out </span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">of your comfort zone and start moving towards emotional health </span></span>-<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> “</span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -18pt;">You think because he doesn't love you that you are worthless. YOU ARE NOT</i></li>
<li><i><span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You think that because he doesn't want you anymore that he is right -- that his judgement and opinions of you are correct. <b>They aren’t.. so let him go.</b></span></span></i></li>
</ul>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And lastly the next time you come across someone who compliments
you and speaks negatively of themselves, kindly let them know that you can’t
take their compliment if they speak ill of themselves. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you have been on the journey to better yourself you should be very proud of yourself. I know I am.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you catch your inner bully trying to surface because they tend to, put them to bed.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If its the first time your reading this blog and you have noticed that you have been bullying your self respect than start the journey to emotional well-being today, because you deserve your best life, you can be the best version of yourself and you matter. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">StillettoRambler</span></div>
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stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-27019015393802099442016-09-15T04:05:00.005-07:002016-09-15T07:42:26.721-07:00<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><u><span style="font-size: x-large; line-height: 107%;">The Art of Healing – getting over
ALL of it ; including yourself.</span></u></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><u><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><u><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></u></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><u><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></u><span style="line-height: 107%;">“I can’t believe this is happening to me!” -
well it is.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">“I am just SO angry; furious and sad!” - Your
allowed to be just don’t hold onto it for too long eventually you will need to
drop that coal.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">“I will never forgive them” - you should, allow
yourself to be free.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">“I will never allow myself to be hurt like this
again” – sounds like a lonely existence.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">I have been meaning to write this post for a few
years now. But healing is hard, it requires tons and tons of work, a seriously
strong sense of self and an un-unwavering belief that you deserve better along with
an understanding that this world is cruel and shift happens. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Healing is hard!!!!!!!! because you n.e.e.e.d
to tell yourself that no matter what life throws at you, your journey through
this hell hole will be EPIC.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">This post is for the douche of an ex who calls you
two years later to tell you that they miss you and still love you; reassuring you
that you were the best boyfriend\girlfriend they have ever had, then proceeds
to put down the phone and live their best life with their new wife\
girlfriend\partner.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">It’s for the ”<i>swan on lake</i>” type of girl ;who bumps into her ex at the
supermarket with this new wife years later, plays it cool and finds herself a
crying ball of mush a few hours after.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">It’s for the person who never dealt with
themselves, their insecurities and issues but instead choose to punish
themselves and decide to live out this self-loathing in a string of meaningless fun for a while situation
-ships .</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">It’s for the person who immediately after a
break up leaped into “fix it mode” and realizes later that they still might be
very much in love with their now moved on partner.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">It’s about the person who is currently carrying
an open wound and does not know how to rise from the ashes or plant new
stronger seeds. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Because let’s face it healing is hard!!! Anger is nice, it helps you function.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">It’s about healing and dealing and moving on from
pain.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">Let me tell you a few things about pain that I have
learnt over the years;</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"></span></span></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Pain is relentless, it’s unfukcinforgiving.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">Pain is that colic baby- night- after night - after night,</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Pain does not care about where in your life
you are, how well you are doing; what a good person you think you are.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Pain is an egotistical sociopath that
wants to remain the doom and gloom master. The master of your life, the master
of your heart, the master of your growth, the master of your self-demise.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">But the most encapsulating thing about
pain is not only that it is stronger then you; but that pain is easy.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">So here’s to the art of healing, because it is
an art (skill , knack or craft), it takes time, patience, practice and good set
of balls.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">Firstly before you even try and heal, I believe
that you need to get over yourself, put that pride in your pocket, and admit it
to yourself. You were fooled, bamboozled, used, you put effort in, it was
thrown back in your face, you fought, it was a losing battle, you gave the best
of yourself, maybe even all of yourself and it all came crumbling down – this for
me is step number one.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br />Then as I have learnt in my journeys over heartache
and over loss, you simply cannot allow yourself to keep moving… (dating, pretending
you are </span><span style="line-height: 17.12px;">OK</span><span style="line-height: 107%;">, existing) if you haven’t taken the time to be still.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">BE STILL…</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">BE STILLLLLL...</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">To see your reflection; sit with your anger, have
a conversation with her, understand her, then in that same conversation challenge your fears, CHALLENGE them to the point that you stare that beast in the
eye and tell it from now on out ; you will refuse to feed it.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">Instead you promise to starve it, evict it and
make a decision that your life from here on out no matter what comes from this loss, heartache
or distress will be an EPIC Journey come hell or high water.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">After that has been done and we have drawn
the outline of our picture then; comes the easy part. The colouring in. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">tacking the sections we need to fill in </span><span style="line-height: 17.12px;">in-order</span><span style="line-height: 107%;"> to create our EPIC journey.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">So let’s colour;</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">3.<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><b><span style="line-height: 107%;">We need to accept the pain</span></b><span style="line-height: 107%;">- here me out here; I don’t mean go on missions to relive the pain I’m
saying accept it as in “ <i>this is happening to me</i>” with this will come tears, loneliness we are now heading into an adjustment period.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /><o:p></o:p></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">4.<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><b><span style="line-height: 107%;">Face
the ugly truth</span></b><span style="line-height: 107%;"> – you cannot have emotional freedom if you chose to live in denial. You first need to acknowledge that a bad thing
has happened to you. Instead of sweeping your emotions under the rug or in the cupboard;
I challenge you to open them up and have a look at your wounds, assess the
damage how can we fix </span><span style="line-height: 17.12px;">things</span><span style="line-height: 107%;"> if we don’t know where to start – is it my pride, is it
my trust, is it my reputation, and if it all just hurts then let it for a
little.. Be Still</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">5.<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><b><span style="line-height: 107%;">Call
on your neutral observer </span></b><span style="line-height: 107%;">- pretend your relationship was
a movie and watch it from an objective point view, you will soon come to see
many things in a different light and other perceptions will quickly start to
form, perceptions that will help you move one and grow; this I find done easiest with questions:</span></span></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Was I accepting more bullshift then I
should’ve?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">Did I overlook things because it was
easier to be in a couple?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Do I </span><span style="line-height: 17.12px;">recognize</span><span style="line-height: 107%;"> the person in this
silent black and white movie? Is she really me? Or had she changed? Is that
really him?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Was I allowing myself to be misused
under the guise of my title as wife, husband or partner?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Where we being as intimate as we use
to?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Did we stop dating?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Did it become too easy to put our intimacy
above everything else?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Were we honesty still treating each
other with respect?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Communication? Was it still real or
was it toothpaste and toilet paper there for a while?</span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /><o:p></o:p></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">If the answers to are negative then in your opinion
; is the movie that youR watching a good one?</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">6.</span><b><span style="line-height: 107%;">Start
falling out of love</span></b><span style="line-height: 107%;">- I have found over the years with lost
friends and boyfriends the reason the pain holds on for so long is cause we
still feel so in love, come one, it takes a few months to un-feel everything
that I have worked so hard on feeling right?, so I find it helpful to start
falling out of love, break the </span><span style="line-height: 17.12px;">visualizations</span><span style="line-height: 107%;"> and thoughts you have of them,
remove the colour. Refrain from saying their name until you have lost the emotional
connection to it, slowly allow yourself to let them go, to let them fade. Start
practising forgetting them and by this I mean break the habits you use to have
together, find new hobbies, and fill your time with new things, things geared
at your healing, at your EPIC journey - create new memories.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p>7.<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><b><u><span style="line-height: 107%;">Forgive
</span></u></b><span style="line-height: 107%;">…yeah
I know, “eye roll”, I put it seventh, because in real healing forgiveness doesn’t
happen immediately; but it is surely something that one eventually needs to do.
You cannot have any form of emotional freedom if you don’t release yourself
from the shackles of your anger, fear, resentment and pain.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /><o:p></o:p></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">8.<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><b><span style="line-height: 107%;">Continue
to talk to your inner child</span></b><span style="line-height: 107%;"> – I find it very important to
have a conversation with your inner romantic or child; to reassure them that – it’s
okay to feel lonely- It won’t be forever, its </span><span style="line-height: 17.12px;">OK</span><span style="line-height: 107%;"> to be sad - something shifty happened
to us after all. Its okay to want to distract ourselves for a second but we
need to </span><span style="line-height: 17.12px;">realize</span><span style="line-height: 107%;"> we will have to deal soon. It’s okay to need people - we are
hurting, but let’s not make them our crutch.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 17.12px;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p>9.<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><b><span style="line-height: 107%;">Take
time away from men and women</span></b><span style="line-height: 107%;"> – I am sorry but
you cannot date and heal at the same time. Then you’re not healing; your still
making someone else the focus never mind that desperation and loneliness are
a$$hole drawers. (no thank you- busy working on me)</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /><o:p></o:p></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">10.<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><b><span style="line-height: 107%;">Believe
Believe Believe that things will get better</span></b><span style="line-height: 107%;">, because they
will.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 107%;">Trust me
that phone call or encounter will come, that bump in the supermarket will
happen, those suppressed emotions will surface and believe me when I say this ;</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span><i><span style="line-height: 107%;">There
is NO greater feeling\freedom in this world then a healthy self because you
took the time to </span></i><b><span style="line-height: 107%;">Heal<span style="color: #cc0000;">thy</span> self</span></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></b><span style="line-height: 107%;">StilettoRambler</span></span></div>
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-52851003165005662432016-06-03T04:17:00.001-07:002016-06-03T04:42:22.423-07:00<h2>
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><u>GLORIOUS GLORIOUS MiSERY!</u></b></span></h2>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-f0TRELu8rSE/V1Fm-hi1_BI/AAAAAAAAAho/U84wBNW2yUkppNkDlipAZHWV-yZIoVgNwCKgB/s1600/darkness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-f0TRELu8rSE/V1Fm-hi1_BI/AAAAAAAAAho/U84wBNW2yUkppNkDlipAZHWV-yZIoVgNwCKgB/s640/darkness.jpg" width="520" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><u><br /></u></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“I am your number one
fan.”-misery<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Have you ever thought about the work it takes to get over an
ex, or a lost friend?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The actual mental, physical and spiritual warfare that we
go through to no longer, care, text, make contact, and give two shifts?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">To not feel sad, to not have fear, to not have guilt that
things have not worked out?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The months dedicated to finding ourselves, on working
through the pain, on rebuilding?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The mountain of magnitude of work we put into getting over
the pain of losing love,?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">seriously have you ever just sat and just thought
about how MUCH work we put into letting go, to healing, and to moving on?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I have and what just boggles my mind is;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Why we cannot do that exact same work with misery, it just
seems easier to be like “<i>hello darkness
my old friend”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i></i>right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It’s easier to be sad than to be happy isn’t it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> It’s easier to be
angry then to forgive, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It’s easier to tell yourself you don’t actually give two
fcuks and isolate yourself, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It’s also easier to belief the negative BS that you tell
yourself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Let’s admit it, misery is glorious.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> It’s that long term
booty call situation - ship that you have going. It doesn’t need much work, it’s
convenient, it’s satisfying, and it makes things less complicated.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“No thank you happiness, my pain pattern is comfortable and
here I feel safe”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I know people aren’t just able to press reset buttons in
their minds, this I am aware off,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> But I find it strange
that when people find themselves too happy and too functioning they tend to do
some or other stupid thing to conjure up all past pains, or allow negativity to rule and plunge right
back into misery completely derailing their inner peace, literally just
throwing themselves out of whack.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">How is it that you decide to close the door on a husband, lover or friend but whenever misery decides to come calling, you’re cradling
her with immediate effect? (addicted much?)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Why is that self-love, and your self-esteem and all the
wonderful things you have going in your life doesn’t matter the moment misery
decides to drunk dial you, or update you on how great she has been since you
left her? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">You see having an awareness of how we truly want to feel and
the path we want to walk, is crucial.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">And if you can tell your boss to stuff it, your boyfriend to
get the hell out of your life, your fake friends to get a stepping then I truly
belief misery should never be your keeper.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Don’t you? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Just think about it<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>StilettoRambler </b></span><o:p></o:p></div>
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-78454082409951390192016-05-30T06:56:00.001-07:002016-05-30T08:53:20.621-07:00<h2>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;"><u>Friendship Relationship Wolves and Leading Your Pack</u>.</span> </span></h2>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7T0UwXrQDq4/V0w_bgt9rkI/AAAAAAAAAhQ/4ERIIRLGxIwkzCan5_erG5ChyHWWY58XwCLcB/s1600/Relwolves.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7T0UwXrQDq4/V0w_bgt9rkI/AAAAAAAAAhQ/4ERIIRLGxIwkzCan5_erG5ChyHWWY58XwCLcB/s640/Relwolves.jpg" width="509" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Relationships have wolves in them, this is something that I
have come to learn in the hardest of ways.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">These wolves are selfish, cause all they want is what is in
their best interest, and NOT so much what is in yours. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Wolves hidden in plain sight, gloriously feeding.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">These wolves are smart and dangerous, but they are also
beautiful sirens that sing great songs of betrayal, love, deception and anger.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Relationships have wolves in sheep skin, people that pretend
to care about you, that pretend to love you, that stay close enough to you so
that one day; they will be able to hurt
you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Broken dark wolves that play to all your vulnerabilities and seek out those vulnerabilities in others so - that in the end of it all, they can rob you and those around you of self-esteem , love and dignity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Relationships have wolves that feed on emotional blackmail,
wolves that refuse to allow you to rebuild trust and instead keep stoking your
fires of anger, jealousy and gossip and greed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Relationships have wolves that lie, blatantly, in an attempt
to get you to continue to ensure that they are fed, fat and happy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Relationships have passive aggressive wolves’ wolves that
encourage passive aggressive behaviours among you and your loved ones</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">You know that non-verbal aggression that manifests in
negative behaviour, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The one that instead
of urging you to go to your partner or friend or family member and openly express how
you feel, rather gets you to makes subtle, annoying gestures directed at them
in an attempt to be little them and ruin things around you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Those hungry wolves that instead of urging you to say what’s
actually upsetting you, rather finds small and petty ways to take jabs at you until
they get you upset.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Relationships have wolves, good ones and bad ones, wolves bought to the party by us, by our family and by our friends.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">SO anyway, the reason for my rant today is that there is an old </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">old folk tale i came across and that I want to share with you its about a</span><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">n old Cherokee chief who was teaching his grandson about life..</span></i><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">.</span></i></div>
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<i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">its goes like this:</span></i></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;"><br /></i><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;">"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. </i><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;">"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.</i><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;"><br /></i><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;">"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.</i><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;"><br /></i><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;">"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. </i><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;"><br /></i><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;">"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."</i><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;"><br /></i><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;">The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, </i><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;">"Which wolf will win?"</i><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;"><br /></i><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;">The old chief simply replied, </i><i style="background-color: white; line-height: 22px; text-align: -webkit-center;">"The one you feed."</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Brilliant story I know, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">also very well know but wait... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">hear me out, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">SO If there are two wolves inside all of us and we need to decide
which wolf not to feed in order to achieve inner peace and serenity.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Then this must mean that when we enter into a relationship with someone or build on friendships we also need to be careful of their wolves and witch
of them to we feed …..Right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">If I am sitting on a table with my friends or my partner,
are we then sitting in the presence of four wolves, or six wolves or twelve?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">If that is the case then should we not be careful of other
people’s wolves too? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Never mind which one of our wolves we allow to play with theirs…?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Does that then mean that I need to make a point to feed my friends
or partners good wolves only in order for our relationship to win?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Or at least I think we need to ensure that the bad wolves don’t get to meet
or feed off of one another. nothing like to bad apples in a basket </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">bu rather to </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">focus only on the ones in the pack that are
seeking love, compassion and kindness and serenity, and strife to not feed the
wolves of anger, jealousy, gossiping and greed?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">My thoughts for today’s though scrambled are rather simple , </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">1. Be mindful of your wolves and of others</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">2. Then if you agree that
a company of two can potentially mean a wolf pack of four, or a drinks and dinner with three can potentially mean a wolf pack of six</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">then keep peoples wolves in mind
and chose to not feed the bad ones or even allow them to hunt in your friendships circles or relationships.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">You have a choice as to which one you chose to feed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">Stiletto Rambler</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-68374082364028589192016-02-10T00:18:00.002-08:002016-02-10T00:18:33.790-08:00<h2>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Conquer from within – Bridge. Match. Burn.</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nnqpRAsJz3Q/Vrrwlhh2bFI/AAAAAAAAAgY/1oALZ3A1Fj4/s1600/BRIDGE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nnqpRAsJz3Q/Vrrwlhh2bFI/AAAAAAAAAgY/1oALZ3A1Fj4/s640/BRIDGE.jpg" width="457" /></a></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></o:p></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There is an old saying that goes “<i>good fences make for good neighbours” <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One of my oldest mantras is that you - teach people how to
treat you- this means that you have limitations on what you will allow and how
you will allow yourself to be treated.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have also come to realize
over the years and recently that a lot of the times we think that in teaching people
how they should treat us. We need to set up boundaries, (which is correct) but the fault or misunderstanding
within the self is “<b><i>that we think we are actually setting up restrictions or rules that are supposed
to control other people’s behaviour towards us.</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Think about that…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Indeed and by definition a boundary is a guideline to direct
other people with regards to what will fly and what will not fly, but what I am noticing
is that we sit, establish our boundaries and then we try and use them to amend <b><i>other
people’s</i></b><i> </i>behaviour towards us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That is BS.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That’s called controlling
people not instilling boundaries. Boundaries are for <i>you</i> and not a to-do-list of “HOW TO” for others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For me a boundary is your personal defence wall, and it’s
something that you hold yourself liable to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is not something that another person needs to respect; it’s
something that you need to respect. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If YOU don’t hold yourself accountable for your boundaries other
people will definitely not. I mean come on..!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It’s pretty simple for me when it comes to my boundaries
being disrespected I employ the “Bridge. Match. Burn.” Tactic witch just means that I build a bridge
and then get over my hurt feelings or disrespected boundary, walk over that bridge,
get to the other side, light the match and watch that bridge burn.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Because let’s
get honest here, It’s not about sitting down and having a big talk, it’s not
about some huge confrontation in an attempt to control or steer people to live in a manner that suits you, that’s called begging for understanding and
begging is not cute and your worth more than to beg. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Never mind the other party, for the other party it gives
them control and I don’t subscribe to control.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you meet people and they don’t treat you with respect, kindness
and or understanding from the get go, then instead of fighting and trying to instill your boundaries onto them, simply unsubscribe to their issues.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Don’t get me wrong people have relationships and we all have
friendships and we make mistakes in relationships and friendships all the time
and nothing is wrong with talking that over, understanding where you hurt them,
knowing better and then <b><i>DOING</i></b> better. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is not what I am talking about, what I am talking about
is when you don’t know your limit or others limits with regards to you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When, you consistently fail yourself in instilling your
boundaries.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When you cannot
conquer from within, when you cannot stand up for yourself and then blame or
have anger towards the boundary “ crashers” for what you are going through.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When all you have
done is build a facade of a fence but its neither working to help you understand and know your limits and neither is it keeping your neighbours trash
out of your yard. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If we focus on conquering ourselves from within no one can
conquer us form outside.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> “Strong fences make for good neighbours”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I strongly subscribe to the notion that<i> </i>establishing strong fences, working on our love for our SELF’s,
doing what keeps us mentally and physical fit, knowing what makes us happy,
knowing what makes us sad, conquering fears that we may have, letting go of
friends that have treated us badly , not
subscribing to frienemies and unsubscribing to other peoples issues should in
my mind make for a happier clutter free life.<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">SO I want you to decide today to take ownership for how you
want to live and feel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Remember that without good fences your neighbours will run
your garden riot, disregard your feelings, needs, desires, expectations etc. and
trust me , even in taking control of your house and garden , there will be
times when people still hurt or poke a hole in your fence, that’s human nature,
humans are crazy, selfish and destructive what I want you to do is promise that
the re-occurrences of these will never happen again. NEVER!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You only have yourself; witch in my mind should be your first
true love. A love that you must protect fiercely<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Your thoughts<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Stiletto Rambler</span><o:p></o:p></div>
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-43437227480638202182015-12-03T06:28:00.000-08:002015-12-03T06:52:00.713-08:00<span style="color: #31859c; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #31859C; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: accent5; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 191;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">FAKE LOYALTY PARADING AS FRIENDSHIP<o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PFBhj7Bnhzo/VmBM6qANcTI/AAAAAAAAAfo/ieK-GPkvfoM/s1600/BLUUUES.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PFBhj7Bnhzo/VmBM6qANcTI/AAAAAAAAAfo/ieK-GPkvfoM/s640/BLUUUES.jpg" width="498" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b> </div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></b> </div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Loyals</span></b><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">:
these are the people you can trust to have your back all the time, you can
close both eyes while sleeping and they have got you covered. People that you
may not always agree with on everything but choose the cause and you over all
else. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Reasons:</span></b><span style="font-family: "calibri";">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">When
someone is in your life for a reason it is usually to meet a need <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you</i></b>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>have
expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you
with guidance and support; to aid you physically, or emotionally. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are there for the reason you need them
and will be gone once the reason is fulfilled. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Seasons:</span></b><span style="font-family: "calibri";">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>are people who come into your life <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>because your turn has come to share something
life changing with them, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to help them
and you grow or <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>teach you , to stand up for yourself , <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to love, forgiveness, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>anger, fun, patience <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>etc. once these are mastered the season
usually ends cause you are no longer needed. Lesson conquered.</span></div>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Lifetimes:
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">these are<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b>relationships that teach you lifetime
lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation
the deeper things, the harder ones. you fight alot with Lifetimes, your fights are depper, hurt more but you grow. Your job is to accept the lessons and love
the person.</span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Now thats that’s out the way, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>lets ramble..</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"> I have come to notice over time
and with the “reason” and “seasons” and “lifetimes” of life lessons (people) in
my life,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that a lot of the times, people
in your life can mirror a mirage in the dessert, and that it’s tough to know
right away because as you are walking towards it, it looks<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>clean, and refreshig and comforting even promising, only to actually come to it and find nothing but the illusion of
hope or in this case friendship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">We must be careful who we devote ourselves to , BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY AND MEAN AND SELF CENTRTED AND CAN BE POISONIOUS AND
failing to differentiate between the (fleeting) and the (misusing ) can be very hurtful and cause a lot of pain, some
of the big things that I have learnt over the years and with regards to friendships
that I have lost and gained is what I want to share in this post today.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Because nothing PISSES ME OFF MORE! Than reasons
coming and causing shi*t for lifetimes that have supported through the divorces
and the birthdays and the babies, and the job changes and the new loves, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">BECAUSE
due to your friends lack of awareness, in terms of whats walking into her life, or due to your own, bridges get burnt and words get exchanged, people get treated silently
and then you lose your lifetimes to instant gratification reasons or drama causing seasons!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">urgh!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">ANYWAY.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 39pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">I found that a lot of time <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">“instant gratification</b>” of affection
and love over shadows those friendship relationships that have been their
throughout the thick and thin, you will very often see a “ Reason” friend getting glorified
and praised over AND above the lifetime friend. Because the reason is now, and
the reason is pressing and at the moment due to tunnel vision the REASON is all
that matters, even more annoying the lifetimes gets treated as the Fake friend
and the reason becomes the “Real” ones.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 39pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 39pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">And before you know it as a lifetime you’re watching this fake loyalty being played out in front you off you, </span></span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 39pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></span></o:p></span> </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 39pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">actually masquerading itself as friendship ...URGH!</span></span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 39pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">I have also found that the Loyals,
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the ones that would constantly betray
themselves repeatedly in the name of loyalty love and friendship, can get quite
emotionally abused, because of the seasons , you know ……the Bitches that are so
busy keeping your lifetime pre occupied with their little dramas.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 39pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 39pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"> That you land
up barely seeing your lifetime because they are trapped in little miss seasons own</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 39pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">episodes of Eat Pray Love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 39pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">What I have seen too often AS WELL and
what can cause a lot of fights is when your lifetime, suddenly wants you to
take her Reason seriously and become buddies, like “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">she aint my Reason”, ENJOY YOUR TOY AINT NO BODY GOT TIME FOR FALSITIES.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 39pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><em></em></span> </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 39pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">can we not try and force friendships on each other...
seriously from one lifetime to another, take your time</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 39pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">with your season and
your reason, I will be chilling with the loyals until you have gone through what
it is</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 39pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">you need to and when your over it, and they have come and gone, come over for wine and popcorn </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 39pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">cause you know.... lifetimes..</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">I for one find this phenomanan highly annoying, so I ask
that one always practices awareness, understand the people that entre in your life,
see why they are there and it will become much easier for you to deal with them
and a lot less painful when they leave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">By all means be the ship<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that has to travel through the seas of time,
to find itself, respect your journey, find that inner peace but for the sake of
shits and sanity <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Don</b>’t be the ship
that going through rough seas and lands up losing her there anchors.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">At all times just as in love , practice
mindfulness in your friendship relationships, and if you’re a lifetime out there
who is going through some troubles and may now need a reason , or is busy being
there for a season make sure that you stay kind to your loyals and your
lifetimes, because as the saying goes<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">“Love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Your thoughts<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Stiletto Rambler<o:p></o:p></span></div>
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-40218821675957347342015-11-30T06:46:00.002-08:002015-11-30T06:59:44.405-08:00<br />
<h2 class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: #e36c0a; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">NEVER Argue with someone who believes their own Bulshift(lies).</span></span></h2>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nCnzAapeoQE/VlxZAZqeeHI/AAAAAAAAAfY/J2tNc-YM11A/s1600/WONDS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="560" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nCnzAapeoQE/VlxZAZqeeHI/AAAAAAAAAfY/J2tNc-YM11A/s640/WONDS.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
</b><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Arguing
with someone; who believes their own lies, will leave you drained, will break
down at your own self-worth and will send you down a delusional hole of feeling
worthless, hurt, mistreated and betrayed. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">A
person cannot give you what they don’t have. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">If they care more about something
else, such as their own needs, winning, popularity , manipulation or control, these things will
always take precedence over the truth, over love and over the effort you have
put into your relationships.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Lies
come from pain, pain comes from actions and wounds are what remain.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Wounds
can be crippling and very often we find ourselves at the peril of someone elses.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The
trick is to have the insight and to recognize that it is not so much the person
that you are arguing with but their wounds. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Once
you understand the wound, you can better deal with the person, while keeping your
self worth and respect intact.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I
recently suffered a major back injury which had me on bed rest for almost three
weeks.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> I had never noticed just how much wounds need to be nurtured or just how
much care we put into feeling better when the pain is physical<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>verses emotional. ( <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">from physio, to relaxation; to being kind to myself to practicing patience.)</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The
injury itself was deeply painful and challenging and it made me turn into an unhappy
depressed extra snappy bitch in a bed. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I
had to reach out past my pride and invite a friend over for drinks one night, in
a plight for sanity. Because this wound was turning me into a person that I was
not.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">A rude, mean, bitchy bear with a thorn in my foot.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Better yet it was starting to tell me lies, chipping at my sense of self and
slowly taking its toll mentally and emotionally.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The
craziest part of it all or the worst part of it all for me, is that I knew that I knew
better.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> I knew despite the pain that I am a kind person, that I am caring and
confident but my pain and anger was such a blinding force and it became easier
to sit and have tea with the unhappy depressed extra snappy bitch in a bed while allowing
her to feed me BS (i.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">e My lack of
mobility meant I couldn’t see people anymore, nobody visited , which suddenly
meant that nobody cared for me (the reality.. people are busy)<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Three
weeks later and I was nothing more than a slave to my pain, angry, sour and DELUSIONAL.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Time
has gone by and we are better, it was a slow process even the
snapping turtle (me) in the mirror had started to notice the sun; that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">has</i> been shining through her windows all
along. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I
know find myself having done the work and smiling again, but it did also open
my eyes to wounds and pain and lies.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes be it that mine was physical, it did not
take away from the POWER that wounds and pain can have over us<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I
realized that wounds whether self-inflicted, imaginary or not, are tricky
bastards; because wounds and pain lie to us and in our attempts to self soothe
and manage we believe the lies our minds tell us and we tangle ourselves
further in life limiting strings.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It
also got me thinking about how wounds in the physical can help one better
understand and heal emotional wounds.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Hear
me out (<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">and no i am not smoking anything)</span></em></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“what If we treated people as a
wound”</i> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Treat your angry lover or difficult friend like a big old slipped
disc; that needs patience and nurturing and love? Imagine if we did….. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Would it then
not be easier for us to cater to and understand them? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">If
we treated a broken heart as if it was sprained ankle, how quickly would we not
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>give it time to heal? , be
understanding, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>not over exert it, allow
it to take slow steps to walking again?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">If
Anger where a cut on your arm …<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">If
Unhappiness was a headache ….<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If Trust was a broken toe ….<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">If
friendship was an injured back…</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">crazy i know, but think about it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">All
and all, you should not argue with someone that lies to themselves and tries to
blame you for their pain, loneliness, anger and resent STEP OUT OF THAT LINE OF FIRE.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">STANDING FOR THAT KIND OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOYAL, A GOOD PERSON OR CARING. ITS MAKES YOU STUPID.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Instead
you should rather treat them with the truths that you see within them, don’t let
them mirror their wounds onto you, gift them with the grace, patience, and
understanding that you would a painful wound.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> A</span></span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">llow them to walk slower, take
more time to trust, share at their own pace, rest if they need, leave if they
must, scream, vent , cry, but don’t get in a back and forth with them about the
lies that they have told themselves and may be projecting onto you.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><o:p>dont coddle their wounds. dont be misused by them either, </o:p></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Instead
be the annoying light of truth that they need to heal.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">See
the wound, understand that it is the wound that is fighting you.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I think that armed
with this knowledge and awareness one could have so much more power in
life and in love.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">You will not only know your own bulshift and how to
keep yourself motivated happy and at peace, but you will also be careful for
when you find yourselves engaging with somebody who lacks the awareness of
their OWN wounds.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Your
thoughts<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #660000;">StilettoRambler<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial unicode ms" , "sans-serif";"><o:p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-62793861733674771072015-11-05T02:37:00.000-08:002015-11-05T02:37:16.975-08:00<h2>
</h2>
<h2 class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #741b47; font-size: x-large;"><u>The
Fake Circle of Trust and A step towards self-awareness.</u></span></span></h2>
<h2 class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #38761d;"><u></u></span></span></span> </h2>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-u7m8NoZbvdY/VjsugMpRbZI/AAAAAAAAAfA/EirD1wcWiRo/s1600/CT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-u7m8NoZbvdY/VjsugMpRbZI/AAAAAAAAAfA/EirD1wcWiRo/s640/CT.jpg" width="494" /></a></div>
<h2 class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #38761d;"><u><o:p></o:p></u></span></span></span> </h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It happens
quite quickly.....<o:p></o:p></span></h2>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Life is busy and we meet people and circumstances
like kids, and boyfriends or engagements and friends of friends or work puts us
into situations where we form relationships with strangers whom slowly progress
and become friendships.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Before you know it, you see and <em>share</em> more with your
new stranger friendships, you focus on the things you have in common; these become
the ties that bind you, and then before you know it there you are in a circle of
trust, or so you think because this is the perception being orchestrated.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Time goes by and in your delusion you assume that
you have established a great big bond and own yourself a great bunch of friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Shift then slowly starts creeping through the
woodworks and you land up having to ask yourself questions like....<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Are you giving away trust toooo easily? And then
land up selling yourself short?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Seriously?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Have you ever been in a situation where you realized
that you were TOTALLY delusional about your “Friendship circle of trust” or the
other circles that you were floating around in?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Where you were under the impression that because you
had welcomed people into yours; that you where automatically a part of theirs?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">And then you find yourself hypothetically sitting on
a payment sounding as pathetic as that hello song of Adele’s once the truth has
set you free?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I have, and it was a great lesson in self-awareness,
one that I would like to share with you.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Because, let’s face it, it’s a tough blow to realize
that the circle was all a lie or that maybe you where to scared to see the
truth of it all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Over the past few months I have had to take a step
back and work out my “Circle of Trust” and the circles within them, in order to
help myself to get an “at glance “view of my own little world (a more truer view if
you will.)<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The lesson that I have learnt is that, just because
someone is in your life alot, and you share many things with them both fun and intimate
and motivational caring and all that jazz, it doesn’t mean that they should be in the circle, or that
you are in theirs. (Obvious when you think about it I know) but not so clear
cut in living colour.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">If you have ever been future faked into a “friendship
circle of trust” I would recommend looking at your friendship circle of trust, seeing
who is in there? and most importantly why they are in there.. … it is a great
exercise in building self-awareness because changing the interpretations in
your mind allows you to change your emotions.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Changing your emotions, allows you to gain back your
power , understand your self worth and makes it easier to let go of the people
that no longer need to be in your life or want to be in your life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Because once we understand our worth and are self aware we need not
allow ourselves to sit on payments listening to Adele’s hello on repeat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">If you have been a victim of a future faked circle
of trust, don’t be too hard on yourself.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Understand that you may have looked at things
through rose coloured glasses, forgive them, forgive yourself and be more
protective of your trust and your heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">But most importantly keep striving to be a genuine authentic
person open to mutually fulfilling friendships.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Your thoughts? </span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">StilettoRambler</span></div>
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-41716639584533283192015-10-07T01:46:00.001-07:002015-10-07T02:14:24.395-07:00<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>30 and Fake
Friends</span></span> <o:p></o:p></span></h2>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DgSTbXnDkdA/VhTYpsJs-MI/AAAAAAAAAeo/D3U5Fk3Y50Q/s1600/sr4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="564" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DgSTbXnDkdA/VhTYpsJs-MI/AAAAAAAAAeo/D3U5Fk3Y50Q/s640/sr4.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“At
first I thought I was losing friends, and then I realized I was being shown who
the real ones are”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Oh
you’re talking to me? I thought you only spoke behind my back</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">”
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The term friendship for me has a very heavy weight
behind it, but I have come to realize that in this new day and age it has
become quite a cheap and lose term in words, but oddly enough not in
expectation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The mutual relationship between friends has become
quite cheap, evident in an age when you’ve got people who have hundreds
of friends on Facebook and barely two friends to rub together in real life come crises,
a much needed chat or a shoulder to lean on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">We refer to people who we don’t know very well as “friends”
but then have expectations of these people as if we have known them for years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">We call our meaningful overnight relationships “A friend”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">We mistake being “friends” on Facebook as being the
same as in real life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">In my warped world it takes effort, time and
experience for friendship to grow, people who like your updates aren’t all friends
they might just be supporters.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People that
abuse you; attack your character, attack you in public and don’t stand up for
you when you are not around are not your friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">People who stab you in the back aren’t friends
either. But that should go without saying<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">This ramble today is not about the obvious things
that warrant fake friends, like gossip, back stabbing etc.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">This ramble is about the “wolves on Friendship
Street”, the ones in sheep skin; whom for all intensive purposes, look, smell
act and have convinced you that they are a friend but indeed are not.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">A friend; you know - a person that has your best
interest at heart and is a willing partner in a mutually fulfilling
relationship. A friend a person, who checks up on you, calls you on your BS,
makes time for you outside of their convenience, doesn’t <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>take it personally when your too busy ,and
schedules a next time, A friends you aches at your loses and celebrates your
victories regardless of time, space or distance, invites you to celebrate in
there victories, baby showers, birthdays , promotions, weddings etc.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">What seems to be failing me is that people don’t seem
to realize friendship like love needs action, trust, time and is work made
visible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This post is
about calling out those that are coasting under the umbrella of “ friendship”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I am not too sure about the complexities of male
relationships but female relationships are very complex and if you find
yourself in your thirties or headed to your thirties and there are still some
dodgy situation- ships you call a “friendship” then it’s time for you to get
honest and audit your “friendships”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">which; brings me to being thirty and having fake
friends... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">In the quest for a genuine authentic life that is filled with love and
light and before you reach the tender age of thirty or if you are past thirty
but are still the owner of some ratchet “friends” it’s time to clean out the
closet and throw away the junk because you deserve better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">For crying out load it’s hard enough just dealing
with intimate relationships in life should we really still cater to people whom
are drilling holes in our boats?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I have for a very long time been a firm believer
that although our romantic partners are of utmost importance to us and on a
whole other relational sphere, that unfortunately (and I get in trouble for
this a lot) your friendships are more permanent than your intimate
relationships, purely for the fact that a relationship is fickle at best and
can end in a break up faster than a friendship can , never mind that very often
we carry our friendships onto the next relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">So how do I take the blinders off and identify people
that don’t deserve to be in my circle of trust?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Herewith a few Exit signs to use as guidelines:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">1.The
stench of resentment :<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It takes a
special kind of person to be a hater, but only a true loser will give the
impression of being your friend while resenting every progress/success in your
life.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Trust your gut the moment that you get the slightest
indication that your successes are a thorn in your “friends” side – leave, book
out!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“If they cannot truly celebrate in your joys then they
are not your Friends “pay attention eventually they will shoot the following
line at you or the look implying the line – “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">oh so you think cause your educated, promoted, married, etc. your
better than us\me” </i>that’s your Exit sign<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">2.Liars.</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fool me once,
shame on you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fool me twice, shame on
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fool me three times – why are you
still on the list of people whose calls I return? –Exit sign<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">3.Chameleon
tendencies:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This one is a
little tougher and more heart-breaking, but it’s important for you to identify
what role you are fulfilling in someone’s life <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(comfort, distraction, fun, financial, )and
you will then realize if your friendship is fake or not.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For instance
if you are the party friend, as in always invited to a crazy night out, but you
don’t get invited for a normal easy Saturday – Fake<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When they are
attached to your hip during a break up but ditch you when the rebound or new
love has arrived - Fake<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">When they make up excuses for not being able to see
you but “land up” going to another party that same night - Fake (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">there is no instance where in the event
things have changed they cannot update you and invite you along, or at least
extend the invite.)</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">When they want to share in your pain, but wont allow you to share in theirs - Fake</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">When they compete with you - Fake</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">When your the victim of Jeoulsy - Fake</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">When your friendship only suits their chameleon
tendencies drop that shift like a hot potato cause if your rearing to thirty or
your past thirty and these energy drainers still share your inner circle of trust you
are only abusing yourself and aint nobody got time for that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Know who your friends, Know who your supporters are,
know who has your back, Know who has your respect, know who is worth your time, know whos fun friend you are, know who is an aquaintence , be aware of the levels and tiers
and understand that all of them are different and not all are necessarily friends then
adjust your expectations accordingly. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Don’t be hurt, or get caught in the web of 30andfakefriends</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> because
you deserve better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Your thoughts?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Stilettorambler<o:p></o:p></span></div>
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-64887927872089870952015-07-24T06:56:00.002-07:002015-07-24T06:56:37.326-07:00
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;">BEWARE OF THE SURROGATE BOYFRIEND
SYNDORME -The aftermaths of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a break up that
we don’t notice</span></span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dQ5VovYZORk/VbI_rqaPHcI/AAAAAAAAAd4/26XSR-v2q9M/s1600/syn.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dQ5VovYZORk/VbI_rqaPHcI/AAAAAAAAAd4/26XSR-v2q9M/s640/syn.png" width="492" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Too often, I see
women devastated by their dating experiences. Despite their best efforts, men
never treat them the way they deserve to be treated.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The brave
ones leave, those that are steadfast and have made bigger commitments stay and
fight.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">My post today is for the brave ones, who have left the comfort of a not
so prefect relationship and are willing to take a shot at new love.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Firstly , I know that building
your self-esteem and self- respect as a women and investing in yourself is hard
enough as it is, but it is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">also</i> an on-going
process.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">However what
gets my panties in a complete knot and makes me livid!</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Is the self – defeating behaviour
that ladies suddenly revert back to during the time spent mourning the loss and
healing from the pain of a break up.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Yes break ups
are hard – trust. And yes healing is work. But we are women. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can do many things at once.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The reason
for today’s rant is a simply to act as a reminder to anyone out there who may be victims
of the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>surrogate boyfriend syndrome</u></b>
and are not aware of it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">it’s one thing that I have noticed falls wayside in the midst of
the storm that is the healing process.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Listen up, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Re- discovering the self,
does not have to happen at the cost of lowering the self‘s worth.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I repeat myself;<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></b></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Re- discovering the
self, does not have to happen at the cost of lowering the self‘s worth.<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></b></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The only
thing that has changed is that you are no longer in a couple. Nothing else.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">You
are still beautiful, you are still worth the effort, you are still strong, you
still have power, your needs still matter and your wants are still important. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Taking BS from anyone is no longer allowed, nevermind the men\women we meet during our healing.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It’s been
proven that during a relationship women are more hell bent on asserting themselves
to their partners, sharing their needs, revaluating their needs, reinforcing their
boundaries - all the things that keep the SELF well balanced.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">When experiencing
a break up however, it seems to rewire them, because now they are spending so
much time trying to heal, that they seem to have a temporary drop in<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>their standards of self and self-worth , this is usaully evident by the resurfacing
self- defeating behaviours; - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>most <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>often<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>bought on by the new <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mr Now. =<strong>surrogate boyfriend syndrome</strong></i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">All of sudden
crumbs are enough or accepted - where you see women setteling for whatever form of attention and time they can get from Mr
Now.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Suddenly their boundaries</span> <span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">disappear,
standards are shaky.... and you will find that he now gets to control, manipulate or even more frustrating
- <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>upset or misuse their already bleeding heart.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And before you they know it
they are a victim suffering from surrogate boyfriend syndrome</span></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Forget the
fact that you have done the work on yourself, forget the fact that you built
your confidence and self-esteem to a point of happiness, NOo instead..</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">let’s let
Mr Temporary Boyfriend- Booty call – Distraction, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>make us sad, needy, wanting, insecure fools. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In my opinion
you’re committing a crime- you are now a grown up women and no longer the girl
that left the relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">in my oppinioin girls put up with Bull Shift, women don’t, and
if you can see yourself in this post today, it’s time to refocus the journey on<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u> you </u></b>,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>your needs and wants and your strength and
your growth . <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">You didn’t come
this far to sell your self-worth for instant gratification and a quick
distraction.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Remember that healing is a process and that i goes in steps, know that a male companion is fine here and there but dont forget that </span><strong><em><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Re- discovering the self, does not have to happen at the cost of lowering the self‘s worth</span>.</em></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><strong><em><o:p></o:p></em></strong></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">change it today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">StilettoRambler
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-494319034382267112015-07-08T07:46:00.002-07:002015-07-08T07:47:21.148-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;"><u>Be your own “HELL and High Water”</u></span> </h2>
<h2 class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: #953735; font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #953735; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: accent2; mso-themecolor: accent2; mso-themeshade: 191;"></span> </h2>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6jpFYZ_0uaY/VZ0wGFRQHVI/AAAAAAAAAdo/Tub3Ye-Ojro/s1600/sr1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6jpFYZ_0uaY/VZ0wGFRQHVI/AAAAAAAAAdo/Tub3Ye-Ojro/s640/sr1.png" width="468" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #953735; font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #953735; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: accent2; mso-themecolor: accent2; mso-themeshade: 191;"></span> </h2>
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</h2>
<span style="color: #953735; font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #953735; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: accent2; mso-themecolor: accent2; mso-themeshade: 191;"></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: #953735; font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #953735; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: accent2; mso-themecolor: accent2; mso-themeshade: 191;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"></span> <span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If
your job sucks, set up an exit plan and leave it. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #953735; font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif"; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #953735; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: accent2; mso-themecolor: accent2; mso-themeshade: 191;">
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There
is no great grand purpose to life, there is only to love, live and learn, teach
and empower.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Happiness is not an illusion, what is an
illusion is the idea that happiness is some tangible thing or destination or, that
one needs to be happy in order to have happiness </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If
nobody cares about you or loves you, then care about and love yourself, do what you need to
do; to feel love and care. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Instead
of trying to find love, give it, be it, approach it, simply put -
show up for yourself and stop being a constant complaining, wallowing joy
sucking Eve or Adam.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's really just grating my highly grateful
soul.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There
comes a day in everyone’s life where we realize that this world, is not one for the
faint hearted,seriously shift happens very quickly, life changes in a new York minute and before you know it, or by the time you
notice it, it’s been three months and all you have spent your precious time doing
is feeling sorry for yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I
have seen and heard quite a bit of what I deem - mediocre complaints about
life, love, work and living,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and I know
that we are all familiar with these mantras or at some point in our life’s have
been joy sucking Eve’s or Adams.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">•<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“My work sucks- I am so miserable…”, <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">•<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“There is just not enough money”- I will
never have the life I want”<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">•<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span> “Opportunities are lacking”, <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">•<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I can’t deal!”, <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">•<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“it’s all too hard!, “<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">•<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span> “People suck! “<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";">•<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I see no purpose…</span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">L</span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";">”<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";">•<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Nobody cares or loves me </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">L</span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";">” <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">•<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span> “What’s the point of it all”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">•<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I will never find love” <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">•<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Happiness is an illusion” <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sound
familiar? got one or two in your life? maybe these are "mirror man" statements?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hear
me out quickly; here is what I have to say - to you ..today.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Understand
that I do this for the friend that’s too
polite.For the husband that’s really trying to stay positive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For people every day that are carrying your
constant negativity as their burden of love for you. For your mirror man.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“PLEASE DO US ALL A FAVOUR AND OVER YOURSELF -</i></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> SO DAM WHAT, BETTER
YET; </i></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Would you like some tea with your pity party or maybe some cookies?<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now
this might be harsh, but if you are a fully functioning human being with an
average life, body intact and <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>of average
health, with a roof over your head and a healthy functioning brain; and some semblance of people to call friends , then you
have no reason to be a constant complaining, wallowing joy sucking Eve or Adam.
<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What
I require from you in exchange for all the joy sucking..<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Is to take a long looong hard honest look in
the mirror , and then I want you to choose ( yes chooooose) to<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pick your butt<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>up off from the floor and own up to no one
else but yourself<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Listen don't misunderstand me ,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>there is nothing wrong
with an off day or a few off <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>days,
everyone needs time to take stock of themselves ; pick themselves up and then
move on. </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the constant complaining,
wallowing joy sucking Eve’s and Adams….. Just grate my highly grateful soul.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Is
it really ever that bad?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No seriously is
it? Is it? <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There
is a scene in season 1 of the fixer where Olivia Pope’s dad rips her a fresh
one ( youtube it)<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In
this scene he tells her that “she will get on a plane come <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hell or high water</i>, that plane representing the end of her problems,
him being that hell and high water”<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That scene changed my life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I immediately went and employed my hell and
high water emotion solider, to join anger, sadness, joy and the rest of the
crew.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And
decided that day; that </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I will beat Anger - come hell or high water- it will not
control me, my actions , decisions or my life<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I
will stand up to sadness come hell or high water – it will not cripple me or
steal my sunshine.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But
most importantly no matter what is happening I WILL show
up for MYSELF, COME HELL OR HIGH WATER… ME BEING MY OWN HELL OR HIGH WATER. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don’t
you think it’s time you do the same?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">StilettoRambler</span>
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><o:p></o:p></span><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-58784405771080227802014-07-08T06:57:00.003-07:002014-07-08T07:41:25.069-07:00<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><u><span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Love Revolution vs love Revitalization
-THE CHANGE BEGINS WITH YOU<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></span></h2>
<h2>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XPH7Nz4I2Iw/U7vxceH7yUI/AAAAAAAAAbA/qFMgOIievwI/s1600/love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XPH7Nz4I2Iw/U7vxceH7yUI/AAAAAAAAAbA/qFMgOIievwI/s1600/love.jpg" height="640" width="536" /></a></div>
</h2>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I am
currently reading a book called the love revolution, unlike the title ,it has
very little to do with relationships witch was my initial impression, but has more to do with how poverty
stricken the world is and in order to change all the worlds current alignments, love and revolution are the key fundamentals to the change ...or a love revolution.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The concept of a love revolution however.. got my mind
playing around with the idea of a revolution in general, can one have a revolution in your love life? or current relationship? or
even a revolution of the self... ?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This sudden fascination with the concept sent me into a researching frenzy on what a revolution means?! and what it entails… hours and weeks even months of research later and being more clued in ...I thought..</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: #274e13;">Wouldn’t
it be brilliant , if people applied the theory of a revolution to themselves? or
even their relationships?</span></strong></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Endless articles later I realized that there are tons of information on revitalizing love, and oneself but I wasn't interested in the idea of going on a retreat with your loved one ,
or a dinner date or taking yourself for a spa date, or reading a self-help book
or even attending a seminar.... this is
not so much revolutionizing! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So what's a Revolution?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">A</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> revolution is a <span style="color: #cc0000;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>sudden. </u></b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>Complete . Profound change</u></b></span> in the
way people live or work, it is a significant change that usually occurs suddenly,
with the aim of changing the way things were before. sudden... complete.. profound.</span></span><br />
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">A Revolution
focuses on personal behaviour. It is not just a call to action; it is a call to
being…. <span style="color: #b45f06;">b</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><span style="color: #b45f06;">e</span>ing the person who goes out of
their way to encourage CHANGE</span></b>,
ignite change, or inspire change.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Change
for a situation that is <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>out of hope;
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>being the one in your current situation who is willing to do <span style="color: #274e13;"><strong>something
for nothing</strong></span> more than bettering ,or turning a situation around.</span><br />
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Now I ask
again, would that not be brilliant for the self or for a relationship? ... the idea to
decide today to rally all the troops inside you and venture out on a LOVE
REVOLUTION?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Revolutions
require martyrs, or hero’s.. people who will go to the ends of earth for love to
reign, for change , for bettering a current situation....this means choosing to be the one person in your life or love life to spark new hope, ignite
old passion and inspire a mutually beneficial way forward.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">If you
are sitting today and you have realized that its time to fight against things
that have become so wrong in your life or relationship, that they <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #990000;">should no longer be!</span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong></strong><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
Things
that were once small ,that have now <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>become SO big, but are none the less STILL wrong OR at least<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>must be made small again then ….</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> A revolution,
or complete turnaround, a LOVE revolution may be <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>EXACTLY<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>what you need, this may be what is needed <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>if you want <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to see some of the tragic injustices in your
relationship or heart or life - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>go away<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">We all
know that relationships can be a gift and a curse, in that one moment , the
relationship world is your oyster, filled with countless romantic possibilities,
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and then suddenly within the blink of an eye ,you and
your significant other are floating in a desert like abyss, with not <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>an oasis in sight for your relationship to drink
from, things are dull, uncomfortable, wrapped in anger and resentment , coupled
with constant knit picking and giant pretty EXIT signs around every corner of
your thoughts.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">We are all aware that our lives could have been going on a great path, we are working on ourselves, we are choosing to be better, we are doing the work to piece the puzzles back together and then suddenly we get comfortable, and before we know it we are busy with things or people or mind-sets that don't serve our growth or happiness. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
That being said..This
post isn’t just a call to action; it’s a call to being . . . choosing today to
being the person in your current situation to become the agent of change.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Choosing to help a friend instead of walk away, to forgive a loved one instead of harbouring resentment, choosing to apologize even if you did no harm, choosing to own the pain that you may have helped to create.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> Most importantly though choosing to be the person who chooses to <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #38761d;">practice
uncompromising acts of kindness</span><span style="color: #38761d;">!</span></b> all in plight of revolutionizing the status quo.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I repeat myself choosing to practice UNCOMPROMISNG ACTS OF KINDNESS. </span><br />
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<o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
So How do I
start practicing a love revolution?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Well
according to research, a revolution requires a few fundamental things:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red;">1.Know your goal</span></b><span style="color: red;"> </span>– Decide today that you want change,
that you want a healthy relationship or a fulfilling life<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">. <span style="color: #bf9000;">Think long and think hard</span></b>, as this is a decision of the heart,
and if a love revolution <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>is what you
have decided on TODAY, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>then be HELL BENT
on having a good attitude in making it work- hear me when I say HELL BENT – as in
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>come hell or high water- you being the <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hell and the high water!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
<o:p> </o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #38761d;">2.Work towards the change</span></b><span style="color: red;"> </span>– A love revolution must be dedicated
to<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #38761d;"> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u>making</u></i></b></span></span>
things better.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I have come to realize that talking
is not expensive, nor does it require much effort, but real love is costly.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 108pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">o<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->It
will cost you time,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 108pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">o<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>it will cost you money, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 108pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">o<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->it
will cost you your EGO,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 108pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">o<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It will mean having to forgive, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> -yourself for
doing things that do not serve your growth.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> -forgive your partner for all
their wrongs<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Whatever
you can do, is worth doing, no matter how small, a coffee, an errand, a note, a
gift<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a text, going for a walk, eating healthy, quitting bad habits .. ( and by that i also mean people ) or simply choosing not to be angry anymore,
choosing to break the cycle- MAKING THINGS BETTER.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
<o:p> </o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="color: #bf9000;">3.Respect</span> </span>-</u></b> Treat each other right ,treat
yourself right <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>– do what is right no
matter what forget that they should’ve done this ....and should’ve done that... and don’t do
enough of this.....and don’t do enough of that..... treat each other right because of RESPECT- full stop.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #38761d;">4.Focus on the Revolution\cause</span></u></b> - Forget about yourself for a
minute, ( if in a relationship) you’re always going to be there for yourself…a <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>revolutions need a hero and a hero is someone
who chooses to make a place better for all.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The change begins with you. Choose the Love Revolution.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
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</span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong>StilettoRambler.</strong></span></div>
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-37850509925297225842014-04-23T02:43:00.003-07:002014-07-08T07:29:30.971-07:00<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #990000;">Things aren’t the
way <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>it use to be in the beginning of <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>our relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></u></b></div>
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></o:p><br />
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></o:p><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Foa5o1X7Gbg/U1eIplbCICI/AAAAAAAAAaE/t2fLKrKpE70/s1600/bb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Foa5o1X7Gbg/U1eIplbCICI/AAAAAAAAAaE/t2fLKrKpE70/s1600/bb.jpg" height="630" width="640" /></a></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<o:p><span id="goog_471404616"></span><span id="goog_471404617"></span></o:p> </div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am always struck by how the simplest realizations in life
or comments from strangers can be the most profound.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Someone says something so
simple to you, and suddenly you find yourself nodding profusely as if to acknowledge
the light bulb that just blew in your head, never mind just having switched on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today I want to delve into <em><strong><span style="color: #990000;">“things not being the same way
they used to be in the beginning of a relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></strong></em></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s absolutely frightening to think about the incessant
need and endless fights that couples and friends have because things are not currently
or remotely the same way they used to be.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How many people do you know whom have stayed in relationships
for years based on things from the first few days, weeks, months, or the
first year of them knowing eachother?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have witnessed some of the deepest and strongest bonds between
people, as well as some of the weakest relationships weather countless amounts
of fights and back lashing at each other.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have seen women and men seeping in DAYS\MONTHS of disappointments
, scarier even for me is when i see people allowing their boundaries to be broken and at the extreme end <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>swallow mild to moderate forms of abuse
because of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“ <span style="color: #990000;">how great the honey moon phase \beginning of the relationship used to
be</span> ”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></b>and how desperately they
want to get back there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've seen couples finding a hundred different creative ways to
recapture those feelings of bliss that came with the begininggof their relationships ..you know the slew of
dates nights, role play, time apart, hotel rooms , expensive getaways ..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It often makes me wonder why?......... what are the true
intentions of this mission to recapture the honey moon phase..</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><strong> </strong></span><strong><em>Are we
searching for that newness because ,we miss the person that we were at that
time? </em></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are we still buying into Hollywood fairy tales of happy endings?<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Or is the reality of the current state of your relationship so rotten
and disappointing that it’s easier to grasp onto the past instead of dealing
with the present?<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The ugly truth for me is a simple one. We cannot base our decisions
to stay, fight or salvage a sinking ship based on how great <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the beginning of it USE TO BE, its delusional and
its lazy and selfish, yes selfish , why? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because, it serves your growth as person no
purpose. It serves your relationship no purpose and it makes the other party a prisoner
of something that no longer exists and is impossible to recapture.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you give two cents about your happiness and current
relationship standing then do us all a favour and let go!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Let go of the boy he used to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Let go of the girl you used to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Let go of the friend that she was, and see the one
she is now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Let go of the things you used to do, and focus
on what you do now, but mostly let go of the expectations that you mentally noted down during that honey moon phase of how things should be ..</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Understand that you have changed, understand the people you
were three months ago are gone, but recognise that that couple 3 months earlier, have left you a foundation to further
build on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Focus on the newness
of today, in both of you and in your relationship; celebrate who you are now,
for crying out loud we can’t spend an entire relationship at the beginning so
that we don’t have to deal with reality that things are far less than perfect.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your thoughts ?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><strong>StilettoRambler</strong></span>stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-12427141963865158792013-11-05T04:28:00.000-08:002013-11-05T04:31:20.487-08:00<br />
<h2 class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="color: blue;"><u><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">YOUR INTENTIONS DON’T MATTER!<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></span></h2>
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="" /></a></span></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-a2fD_GXVsJ8/UnjhGtmUrPI/AAAAAAAAAYk/8UwnwV3g6QA/s1600/s2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="377" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-a2fD_GXVsJ8/UnjhGtmUrPI/AAAAAAAAAYk/8UwnwV3g6QA/s400/s2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
</div>
</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your intentions whether to cause harm, or not do not matter at all, your actions speak much louder in any event.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How often have you come across a situation where someone has
said, or acted in a negative way towards you? basically defined in my terms <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>as “<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">not having your best interest at heart”... </b>only
to use the ‘” intention excuse “ in the
end of it all?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You then as most people would,approach and confron the culprit about their recent dodgy
behaviour.. only for them to sheepishly drop the biggest cop out line for the mileniums to come; </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;">“</span><em><span style="color: blue;">it was never<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>my intention
...to alert , share your secret, to hurt, upset etc you”</span><span style="color: #0b5394;"> </span></em><span style="color: #0b5394;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">well I call BS on intentions, cause they don’t really matter, due to the fact that the
actions have spoken louder in any event.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">whether or not<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a friend,
lover or partner acts or does something intentionally is not important, unless more
often than none their behaviour is of an offensive kind <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and subsequently forms part of a body of
evidence,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> that suggests that<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>they do not
have your<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>best interest at heart,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>you can then<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>be assured that they do not have the integrity, conscientiousness and
level of personal responsibility that could ever add up as part of any
relationship, never mind a <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>healthy
mutual one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So to all of you out there that have been , the target of maliciousness
or the collateral damage of an unavailable man..deception or betrayl of any kind <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>today's lesson\ and ugly truth is short but important one,.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A mutually beneficial
relationship, is one based on care, respect and trust to mention a few</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">AND When All is said and done, its not about whether there
intent was malicious or not , as the result of it will speak for it selves, so
intentions not matter, don’t waste your time, allowing them to become a valid
excuses for dodgy behaviour.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: blue;">StilettoRambler</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your Thoughts?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></div>
stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-42580621271245922852013-10-07T07:54:00.002-07:002013-10-07T07:58:57.199-07:00<h2>
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">Girlfriends...Lies in the City.</span></h2>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HQycBSgD6cY/UlK68nJpqXI/AAAAAAAAAX8/K5yNUfQrzys/s1600/Picture1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="606" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HQycBSgD6cY/UlK68nJpqXI/AAAAAAAAAX8/K5yNUfQrzys/s640/Picture1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sitting at a popular bar in town one night, and people watching (as i soo love to do) found me zoning into a group of "girlfriends" dressed to the nines and sipping on cocktails..it was like i was an extra on the set of sex and the city..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">don't get me wrong, its always lovely to see friends enjoying each others company, but it got me thinking about this "girlfriends" phenomena..that sprung out in the late 80\90's </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">wait..hear me out.,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>One of the great things about TV is that, well, it’s not real life. Otherwise, some days it may not be called Sex and the City but Depressed, Lonely, Crying and scarfing down a box of cookies in the City. </em></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em></em></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Even a die-hard sex in the city fan like me, has had to come to terms with the fact that, I’m not Carrie. </em></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em></em></span><br />
<em><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you’re reading this: you’re not Carrie. Yes, I know you love writing, stilettos, cigarettes, wine and you’ve got your very own Mr. Big, but nevertheless, you’re not Carrie, and maybe that’s a good thing. .</span></em><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em></em></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Of course, the real reason why Sex and the City has managed to conquer every girl’s heart (isn’t the shoes or the cocktails and mostly the focus of this very insert)... </em></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em></em></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>It’s the friendships...</em></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em></em></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em> The idea of having 3 or 4,super-close girlfriends and the token eccentric gay best friend to spend your Saturdays with, is ever-appealing to chatty ladies like ourselves.</em></span><br />
<em><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial;"></span></em><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>The only hitch, and the reason for my rant , is that in real life, when BFFs grow up and marry their BFs, they may have less and less time for Saturday brunches and impromptu shopping trip,.or nights out on the town-</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In reality married friends have babies, and what you hear more often then none is, " I am so tired" and i wish i could join, but unfortunately i cant..so no..No Cosmopolitans there.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In real life your girlfriends cant come running with vodka and cookies in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon to discuss whether your latest date has mommy issues.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">In real life, girlfriends, have girlfriends and who they are to you, can be gravely mistaken relationally, as to who you are to them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">more often than none, in real life these girlfriends get turned into surrogate siblings or family witch brings me to a sad reality check .</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shows like these have scripted the ultimate girlfriends -relationship -fairy tales, for the fun, fearless females out there.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And today, i am calling the BS ladies, the truth of the matter is that your relationships with your girlfriends, are exactly the same as any other relationship.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Meaning they have boundaries, they are governed by values and norms, and most importantly should thrive off a basis of mutual respect.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To often i have witnessed, unforgivable behaviour within these setups under the guise of its "</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">super- tight -ness"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Things like:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bullying of each other tends to thrive in these,</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Unhealthy competition,</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the birth of frenemies,</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial;">inter - relational cliques,</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">back stabbing etc</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My point is, the same as the one in the post relationship fairytales but with a slight twist,Those of you that are lucky enough to have these kind friendships in your lives,cherish them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Those </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">who don't, or are compromising their emotional health to be part of a group, get out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The road to true happiness is paved with knowing your boundaries and understanding your self worth, dont let that get lost in cocktail dresses, cosmos and red lipstick.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your thoughts?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">StilettoRambler</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-27817292700734673492013-10-07T01:18:00.000-07:002013-10-07T01:19:13.508-07:00<h2>
<span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;"><u>Relationship Thieves: FORGET YOU or better yet SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!</u></span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lTyLR4oXO7U/UlJqFf4F9RI/AAAAAAAAAXo/mvnKo2HS-q8/s1600/shut.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lTyLR4oXO7U/UlJqFf4F9RI/AAAAAAAAAXo/mvnKo2HS-q8/s640/shut.jpg" width="628" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This weekend i found myself sitting pretty in a church attending a wedding, but to my surprise, found myself smack in the middle of a message, that well lets just say, was hoping to find me there and hoping i would share.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The message of the day, to the soon to be wedded couple was to watch out for relationship thieves as they go about their new journey together as newly weds.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Relationship thieves,.... are detractors hiding in plane sight.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The speaker went on to talk about how these thieves live in all aspects of relationships, for the long term committed couple staring matrimony in the eye, these thieves come in the form of excuses like:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. "when the times is right"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2 " when we have saved enough money for a wedding , or a house, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. Or when the right job arrives, and you can then be settled..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For already married couples they hide behind:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. "having a baby" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. "not having time for each other"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. House chores or simply being tired from work or worse</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4.. Expecting that due to that fact that they are married, things should just flow seamlessly"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What was further highlighted was that these thieves sole purpose is to steal from the <strong>health and the wealth</strong> of the relationship.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That true relational health does not reside, in the house your planning on buying, the busy work schedules you have, or the fact that there is never time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">True relational health and wealth, is determined by the <strong><em>quality </em></strong>of the time spent with your partner. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The glass of wine at the end of the evening, the Saturday morning hike up the mountain, sharing dinner on a table away from the TV. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and Basically doing the things that you use to enjoy doing with each other, when you first met, and the world throwing tantrums and screaming from the top of her lungs couldn't stop you from wanting to be with,or spend time with each other.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He went on to say that, building a life on what you expect should lead to happiness, like the house, kids, car and paycheck, will eventually leave you stranded in a glass castle with a stranger that once upon a time was referred to as your partner.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Life is life, time is always being competed for, and real life relationships, weather romantic or platonic aren't a one and a half hour long Hollywood script.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But with knowledge comes awareness, so be mindful of the relationship thieves in your life.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Recognise them, stare them in the eye, tell them to shut the front door and choose to protect your relationships health and wealth.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your Thoughts?</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">StilettoRambler.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-70057274639665992452013-09-05T03:53:00.003-07:002013-09-05T03:53:31.188-07:00<strong><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Toxic Girl \Boy Syndrome? - PsychoBitches\ A$$HOLES</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">and those who suffer from it.</span></strong><br />
<strong><u><span style="color: #274e13;"></span></u></strong><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Mn0LpoPY3Fk/UihW-5_ElDI/AAAAAAAAAXM/SqbJKk5NIvI/s1600/imagesCASY24VX.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="289" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Mn0LpoPY3Fk/UihW-5_ElDI/AAAAAAAAAXM/SqbJKk5NIvI/s400/imagesCASY24VX.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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"You text, You talk, You have sex. S\he withdraws, comes back and blames you for ignoring them, or using them, you apologise. Start the dance all over again and before you know it You text, You talk, You have sex and s\he withdraws.<br />
<br />
OR<br />
<br />
S\he tells you to stay out of their life, yet finds ways of bringing drama into yours. <br />
Constantly seeks your attention, but continuously tells you that they hate the day you walked into their life's.<br />
<br />
The emotion vampires, that suck all the positive energy out of you and yours, breaks up and makes up with you , more often than the minutes in a day, yet still convinces you that the bond you have with them is special and without you in their life's, the world would simply be dark.<br />
<br />
I call this disease the toxic girl\guy syndrome, and the cause the "god complex", the fetishes for the broken winged man and women has been coming to my attention of late.<br />
<br />
I have come to meet the<br />
<strong>Emotional terrorist:</strong>The person that's just a tiny bit more sensitive than the situation requires, whose manipulative nature holds you “hostage” to each and every one of their whims ,They have a tendency to go from 0 to 100.. putting you under constant pressure, and making you look like the sad "whipped" version of yourself.<br />
<br />
Then I have met the:<br />
<br />
<strong>The flirt:</strong>They make you take the oath of celibacy,and spend the entire evening flirting with everything that has a pair of legs, leaving you to spend most of your waking hours wondering if their sleeping with every person they come across, and then to put icing on the cake, gives you the side eye when you stand up to take a call...and treat you like the horn dog...then when it all hits the fan, they break down and explain to you, that they have an intense care for you, and the thought of sharing you drives them crazy..<br />
<br />
And then off course, my favourite:<br />
<br />
<strong>The you "complete me" : Mr\Misses i need you, Mr\ Miss co-dependent.</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
It has come to my attention that men and women, are quite fond of the idea, and quite quickly fall prey to someone , who makes them feel that the sun shines out of there...<br />
this need, and co- dependency angle that they use on there prey, seems to pack quite a manipulative punch.<br />
<br />
strange and wonderful as it is, i often wonder if the need for their happiness, peace of mind, physical or mental stimulation, being constantly tied to their partners, doesn't just causes resentment?<br />
<br />
Don't miss understand me, I get the flattery aspect of it, but don't you sometimes wonder, if it has anything to do with you as a person?<br />
<br />
haven't you ever thought that they may just be emotional bottom feeders? hosts? that are more worried about what needs their specimen can fulfil, as opposed to the specimen themselves?<br />
<br />
doesn't it just bother you that, the feelings they have for you don’t have much to do with who you are as a person?<br />
<br />
I sometimes wonder if people out there involved in relationships with others,are even aware that they may be suffering from toxic syndrome..or do, do they now how to get out of the cycle?<br />
<br />
here is my advice, stop wasting your time, emotional well being and sanity.<br />
<br />
StilettoRambler<br />
<br />
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stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-61005406968684303012013-08-30T03:51:00.000-07:002013-08-30T04:03:47.503-07:00<h2>
<span style="color: #b45f06;">LIFE LESSON - Unconditional Love.</span></h2>
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<span style="color: #b45f06;">Betrayal: A journey through Empathy:"</span> </h2>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IWqI6bmn1No/UiB2Yyhwn8I/AAAAAAAAAWw/PZo1makTvyk/s1600/bet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IWqI6bmn1No/UiB2Yyhwn8I/AAAAAAAAAWw/PZo1makTvyk/s640/bet.jpg" width="524" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">Have you ever spent a day with betrayal?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Held her quivering hand, without rushing to judge
her .....or try to understand her?</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Have you ever sat in her darkness, the centre of
her sorrow, and wonder what her light aches for?</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><span style="color: black;"> </span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ever stared at her...Just mesmerised...as she
reveals her hearts true longing?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">Have you ever lain in the icy bosom of betrayal?</span></span></span></div>
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And simply basked in it? <br />
Without moving, to hide it, fade it. Or fix it.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><span style="color: black;"> </span></div>
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">Have you ever danced with her wildness? Fell in
lust with her</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">mysterious intrusion,</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Without cautioning yourself to be careful </span></span></span><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">or
realistic,</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> But allowing her, and yourself to disappoint others… </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">for a moment, with
your own truth?</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><span style="color: black;"> </span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ever wonder, if betrayal forgave love for
forgetting her? <o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">Or ,what the promise of love means to her? <o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Have you realized that forever her tears will fall on
uncaring eyes,</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span> </div>
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Eyes.. that will never understand, "that daggers in their
hearts", "lying" "cheating" and taking things for granted, is nothing more than her nature. …Her
part.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">Ever sat with her as she explains that love is made
of light and dark, and that without her, you simply can’t appreciate the other
part?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ever shared the burdens of the secrets, that love
makes her keep…</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">or simply hold her hand and walk with her through judgements deep unforgiving
seas.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><span style="color: black;"> </span></div>
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>
</em></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">All the way nurturing
her need for darkness…</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">.But still loving her fiercely , and accepting
that she will forever<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>be</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;">a
poisoned rose.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="color: black;">Doomed <em>to be lonely, </em></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><span style="color: black;">Because no man, has ever dared cradle her in their hearts<strong>.<span style="color: #b45f06;">"</span><span style="color: #b45f06;">stilettorambler"</span></strong></span></span></span><br />
<strong><em><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Arial;"></span></em></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><em>Sometimes in live good people do bad things.</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><em>and as i have always said, that... however ,</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><em>doesn't make them a bad person.</em></span><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial;"></span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial;">Think before you act. Empathize before you judge.</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial;"></span></em><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-size: small;">StilettoRambler</span> </span><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: xx-small;">inspired by Oriah Mountain Dreamer</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"></span></span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face","serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></em><br />
<br />stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7159663141086978023.post-46308608462498809582013-06-17T06:58:00.000-07:002013-06-17T07:00:57.893-07:00<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><u><span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;">Stop Being<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A Pu$$Y! : Rather the Devil you Know, then</span></u></span></h2>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><u><span style="font-size: large;"> the Devil you don’t?! -B.S</span></u> <o:p></o:p></span></span></h2>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-w5-UbxY7oBw/Ub8Sx_Uf8II/AAAAAAAAAUE/1gB7XLF_lxc/s1600/purrry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="376" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-w5-UbxY7oBw/Ub8Sx_Uf8II/AAAAAAAAAUE/1gB7XLF_lxc/s640/purrry.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p><span style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span></o:p></span></u></b><br /></div>
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</span><br />
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<strong><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-weight: normal; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“<span style="font-size: x-small;">Going into the unknown is how you expand what is known”<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></i></strong></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-weight: normal; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">I once made the wrong decisions, in one of the chapters of my life novel,
because I read the following line in a book </span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">its unbearable to stay, but
impossible to leave</i>”</span></strong><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-weight: normal; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> and this line soon became a
belief that fed my many many fears , <o:p></o:p></span></strong></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
was scared I wouldn’t love again so... I stayed, survive without a number of
people so.. I compromised, get another awesome job so ....I sold <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>my soul , make new <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>friends… so I swallowed the old ones treatment
or lack there off,... but oddly enough here I am thriving, dancing, working and
loving.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">However , The point of my post is that, my beliefs
were keeping me firmly planted in the bosom of the devils that I knew,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the ones that “ metaphorically, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">were keeping
me bathed, fed and <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>safe aka“ happy</i></b>”.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The only problem however was that I <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>was living in a vicious cycle of fear, panic
attacks, darkness, crying fits and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a
general feeling dread and feeling “stuck” ... my beliefs were killing me softly, i was stuck</span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Stuck in a world that I had <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>CREATED MYSELF AND HAD MANAGED TO convinced
myself was <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“in the “ ABSOLUTE PURSUE OF
HAPPIINES”....authentic</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">EVEN, THOUGH IT FELT. “<strong><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Unbearable
to stay,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>AND impossible to leave. OR
scary to change and crippling to try”<o:p></o:p></span></i></strong></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
then stumbled onto a book called the:<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
gift of fear </b>and soon realized,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
being a Pu$$y..full stop.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It enlightened
me to the lesson of fear, that fears are emotional reactions, perceived as
threats, emotional reactions that stem from beliefs that<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> you</i></b> make up, and deem to
be TRUE.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-weight: normal; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">After reading what fear is, and
what causes these intense crippling emotions, the book broke it down to me with
a " <em>swirft realness"</em> about what fear REALLY is. </span></strong></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What its
actual role is and what it really stands for :<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>F. E .A.R – turns out to be -,</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">F</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">alse </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">E</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">vidence </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">A</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">ppearing </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">R</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">eal,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> did it hit like a brick? Yes. did it make sense? - Yes. did it confirm that i was being a wuss? - hells Yes </span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">It then
went off to say that if your fearing it, it’s not <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>really happening,</b></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">so calm the f down, cause if
it was happening, you would be too busy DEALING with it , then fretting about
it. ( read that again) ( again) and one more time).</b></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So ..Here
is the ugly, moral of my story<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-ZA;"> Change your beliefs, change your life, NOW - Right now! It’s time you
stopped being a f#cking pussy.</span></i></b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">not everything you belief is true, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Not challenging your beliefs will without a doubt make your fears a
reality .<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">If you think you are trying BULL, trying is not doing, trying is not change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and if you aren’t changing them, your lying to yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So just stop, Dare the devil you don’t know – challenge the
beliefs that are holding you back! i.e.:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">I won’t get a better job.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">It’s too hard to leave.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">No one will ever truly love me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">I am a product of my past<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Bad things always happen to me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">If I don’t do this, my friends won’t like me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To
keep his love, I must give up this and or that. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">I cant love , cause I am from an abusive home<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">I cant trust , cause I always get screwed
over<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Men are all the same<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;">Blah blah blah<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Instead<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Scare yourself a little bit every day</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Change your outlook and beliefs – change <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>your life- re- write your script<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Take
a leap of faith on <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">yourself.</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Focus
on what is actually happening and not what your delusional brain is feeding
you, especially if you find yourself staying, and still completely suffering. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cause the devil you do know, also knows you toooo well,
and will continue to cripple you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span> </div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Seriously though,
is there<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u> really</u></i></b> anything to be afraid off?</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"></span><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AMUq1vsieos/Ub8PdUeNZuI/AAAAAAAAAT0/coh3l-0s7Tk/s1600/300-Movie-Publicity-Still-300-222372_1400_738.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AMUq1vsieos/Ub8PdUeNZuI/AAAAAAAAAT0/coh3l-0s7Tk/s320/300-Movie-Publicity-Still-300-222372_1400_738.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your
thoughts<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Stilettorambler</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span> </div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span> </div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">
</span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Disclaimer-
the use of Pussy in the statement, is used purely cause it gets my point across, I disagree with
the saying , because<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>of its“ gender connotation.”<o:p></o:p></span></span>stiletto ramblerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11070637121137032320noreply@blogger.com1