StilettoRambler

Invisible Bruises…….Broken, Battered, Abused….”but he doesn’t cheat or beat”

Defining the A$$- Douche: This breed of man is the one that eventually proves to be a waste, adds no value to you or the relationship, has selfish tendencies, is more involved with himself  than you, mistreats and manipulates, and is only in it for his own benefits.

One of the biggest relationship misconceptions I have come across, and a rather frightening one, is that many women think that it is ok for a man to be an A$$- douche as long as he is not cheating on them or  beating them…

Oddly enough this always brings me to the question:

 What about the other behaviours?

 such as fighting with you for no valid reason...... being manipulative,  arguing with you and mistreating you….. then only  mere days later pretends as If nothing has happened?, ......and wants to make up…

Or things like being passive aggressive, or worse validating their terrible behaviour and justifying it because at least they don’t beat you, and they have never cheated on you?

Further i sit and ponder ....as i listen to these women talk about how his not that bad and many women have it worse...

Does this phenomena maybe come from the parental relationships that have shaped our own on???? ; is it something that women have lived with form a young age?

For example:

 “ fathers may have been complete A$$holes, manipulative, bullying the house, treating mothers silently , walking around like bulls in a china store, making mothers walk on egg shells, quiver, giving her silent treatment, controlling her, throwing disrespectful comments at her , but he never beat her, so his not that bad …” (Sound familiar???)

I have met very faithful A$$- douches for instance ...serious tools , and unfortunately and frighteningly i keep thinking... if women are going to continue to use beating and cheating as a measurement stick,  they will landing up setting themselves up for mountains of inappropriate  relationship behaviour........................ and still land up bruised ,batted, abused and even broken,

Sad to say allowing  this happens so often its almost common practice, but  using that behavior  as a measurement stick is just you setting yourself up with the worst kind of pain…

setting yourself up with invisible bruises, the kind you cannot see, struggle to mend,  and like a tiny parasite sit and slowly chip away, and away on the self esteem, the love for the self and the respect for the self never mind the hard work you have done.

Its almost as if women have not realized that it can be very comfortable for an A$$-Douche to stay in the relationship, ....

I mean who would leave with the benefits like free nookie?, someone to blow smoke up their ass, a helping hand in tough times,...... the statues that comes with having something on their arm, money, someone to cook for them,  and baby them when they are sick?

i surely would, if was douche...

So in the pursuit of mutually fulfilling relationships and a realistic happiliy ever after, I am going to highlight A$$-douch characteristics,  so  that your fabulousness cannot claim the - ignorance -is -bliss argument :

·         He continually changes the terms and conditions of your last argument to suit him- if you agreed that your allowed one night out a week , and then  he still bitches, makes you feel like your negleting him,  and gives you grief on that night- His an Ass- douche.

·         He threatens to leave you and acts like his life will be fine without you, so you change your behaviour and start dancing to his fiddle.-A$$-DOUCHE

·         He slowly controls you and leaves you at the end of your wasted time with him ….without friends, less connected to YOUR family, desperate and alone.

·         He moves in with you, lives the marriage, makes you play future wifey and never really commits , I am sad to inform you that you are being coned.

How do you know your allowing this to happen to you???? ,   question that i get alot too, well .... this  is when you find yourself always defending how great the good times are, even though its only 20% good and 80% hell, when you are the only person in the world that understands him, and no one else can understand why your dating him, then well your dating – you guessed it an A$$- DOUCHE.

So check yourself again, re- evaluate what inappropriate relationship behaviour is, and start to construct your exist strategy…i say exisit strategy cause well you are invloved with a master manipulator... and like a good chess game it will need a strategy

Your Thoughts?