StilettoRambler

Misses and Mr Heart Break Hotel – The Rebound…Buffer..Human Cushion..

"Rebound love is one which is unavoidable when you are young and inexcusable as you age."

It blows my mind that people would sit around, lesson the blow, and allow themselves to be used by someone who has just exited a previous relationship..

Don’t get me wrong break ups are very hard to deal with, the reason they are so hard and so  though is that they............... like a death,  signify a loss….. an emptiness….. an ending, and for that mere fact they need to be grieved…processed ....and worked though.

Time is needed for healing…..Screaming…. boozing ….burning old photos…punching voodoo dolls .being on the own etc…..yet without fail  and WAY TO  too often I come across men and women that find themselves in the lovely position of MD or Madam of the heartbreak hotel.

People who just jump into a bed and a relationship with a man\woment that has just ended a previous relationship.... knowing full well…… that he\she may not be over the loss or have not completely dealt with their unresolved feelings…

Come on guy its a known fact that...

The ugly truth here is that people need time to heal, and not giving them that space or time means that you are willing asking someone to use you!

You are lessening the blow of their pain, you are allowing them to fix themselves on your time, love you half heartedly while they are in  transition or in repair ..

More mind boggling for me, is that when these individuals are all fixed  up and ready, they land up leaving your nurse maid butt in the dust for a healthy mutually fulfilling relationship …

seriously you’re not a human band aid..Bull the BS card ....grab a parachute and jump out of the situation...stop waisting your time already...they arent ready..

“But with patience they will come around, and see that i have been there for them and then in turn love me"

I hear that often too….but get this your choice is your choice your life your journey to sculpt but :

·     You’re a bon-i-fied distraction: right up there with checking your facebook page  while waiting in the doctor’s office, your only there to help them keep their mind of their Ex to fill the space that they left empty.

·     You’re a human cushion: Trust me you are nothing more than a mechanism to lessen the impact of the pain, but it’s not gone you’re just lessening it.

·     You’re stuck in a catch 22: You are now sitting in the position where you need to help them deal with pain of losing their ex, and in turn you don’t get to have your OWN relationship.

·      They are settling with you: It’s toooo scary to be alone so they are going for the SECOND best option which..... is you….

·     You’re a space filler: like a couch is to an empty room

More sadly so,  is the fact that you are constantly living in the shadow of the one that got away, you will always wonder if you are good enough, you will continually have to fight for the right to not be compared to the EX,  and your relationship will never be given the full emotional availability it deserves.

For the longest time you will only being filling his sexual and companionship needs, and for the most part  you may  land up getting hurt and investing more than you realise,

I would like you to call the BS now if at all you think you are the heart break hotel.

It’s pretty simple really..

If you really are such a great, fabulous worthwhile person, and they truly are interested in a caring , loving relationship with you , then you owe it to them to let them kick , scream and shout, and they owe it to you , to pack away the past,  take the time , fill the holes and give you the relationship you deserve..

 Your Thoughts?