StilettoRambler

Friendship, the perfect blendship....Or a toxic dose of love that HURTS..

"Some friends may be betrayers from the start; others may turn into betrayers because of what's going on in their lives or because of changes in their personality"

Friendship is a delicate thing to have, maintain and build, i must admit i thought i knew what a friendship entails when i was in high school, i partook in friendship bracelets, labelled people as best friends , bossom buddies etc.

Ontop of that for the longest time in my life i had 80% of my friends be men, and i must admit i use to be proud of that fact untill ............i got to college, and soon realized that your longest and closests friends are the ones you will make in college or atleast in your 20-30 year age gap.

i learned some serious lessons on the nature and fickleness of these female bonds and thought i would put my insights on a page.

Firstly their are 101 definations of friendship and sometimes the demands we put on our friends are more than those we put on our partners, and i can safely say breaking up with a friend is much more devastating then breaking up with a lover.

Secondly, i find it amusing that regardless of the fact that these are relationships too, they seemingly manage to slip and bend regular relationship rules...common decency is another thing that this relationship is also allowed to ignore...i dont see how the same principles dont apply...

So with that said,

My definition off friendship is vast and varies dpending on the nature of your relationships, but what friendship idoes not have a space for is:

1. Abuse:

 to often i see how a group of girls have a pack leader, and how within this unit there can be serious amount of abuse..and for some reason, due to the fact that it is coming from a group of girls it is not that spoken off, nor is it  fought back on either.

Here is the deal ladies, taking abusive or degrading behaviour  FROM ANYONE .. IS NOT ON...ALSO to remain part of this group is plain stupidity..., and anybody that sits by and allows someone to be bullied is not worth it... these people are not your friends, not even slightly..love your own ass abit more and cut the ties.

  2.  Jelousy:
 Now we all know what jelousy looks like, IF YOU HAVE A FRIEND THAT YOU DEEM SLIGHTY JELOUS OF YOU- lose them, their is no place in an authentic friendship for jelousy,you simply cannot be friends with someone who secretly envies you- You deserve better- cut the biatch lose.

   3. Competiton: 

if you find yourself in a space with a bunch of women that are constantly competing with each other- for the better the outfit , cuter guy, sexier haircut-

Book the f*ck  out, you cannot be competed with or be competing with friends, you are all individual beings , that are suppose to support each other, and love each other just the way you are.

4. Double- Crossing:   
The two timing - double crossing, gossip monger, who just gives you silent treatment, and puts you on constant guilt trips- You just can do better than her, full stop move one

5. Undisclsoing -

When you tell your friend that this is between "us" and it doesnt take her longer than a phone call to spill- the line you need to use is- You are the weakest link goodbye.

6. Fault finding: 

These friendships  are the ones that consist of constantly breaking each other down on anything and everything the other tries to do- if they cant give you possitive critiism and guidnece do the princess WAVE with a smile.

Frienship is important, their is not doubt, but trust me 4 great girlfriends, beats a team of double- crossing, disclosing gossips, dont compromise your friendship boundaries, due to the fear of lonliness, be the friend you want to have and have patience the right ones will arrive.

Also its ok if not everybody is your friend, its not your duty to be everyones bossom buddy,  You ared allowed to be picky.

I have told you know what friendship is not,  and that with  relationships you may be picky, cause this one is a lifelong journey.

Carmen, Chanty, Robin ,Bongi , Ushi, Lizel , Chris,Nash, Lina  and Zelda- thank you for teaching me what friendship is and what the HELL it sure aint.

Love and Light.
Stiletto Rambler