StilettoRambler

NO. You’re Wasting My Time.

" how did we get here..and do we want to stay..?"

So, it turns out  life is pretty demanding, people are more so, and if you are dating or seeing someone , have friends and second jobs, the juggling intensifies.

Your time starts running out on you, and if you don’t watch out you find yourself in the middle of mindless endless, running, with no motives, lessons, or worthwhile experiences, a social vampire if you will.

You’re just required to show up,  smile, spend time and be there, and people get to take , feed and enjoy... and if your dont, people then throw their toys out of their cots, bring on the holocaust and hold your emotions randsom.

Firstly, thats total BS, and secondly not to proudly though ...but i must admit, i have done it.

Last year December, I found a friend of mine, hauling the words “you’re emotionally black mailing me” flung across the room and straight at me, I looked at her with a serious frown on my face unimpressed at these accusation as  she continued on with, “You have always told me that you teach people how to treat you, and the behaviour displayed last night I will not tolerate.”

“I told you what time, I was going to be leaving, but you choose to ignore me, so i left ! ,this is also my holiday, and my time!!!.”

It took a minute to digest this and it took me even longer to  understand why I was so upset at the statement, i wasnt asking that much??  ... my intentions where all in the right place, i wanted to see her,  wanted to spend time, she could've just waited for me....etc

digging further into the self, and running through some of my older posts, i realised that it had been a while since i stood face to face with assertiveness , she had all the right to put me in my place, where do i come from demanding the one thing that we all want more of, but dont know how to use, and then still sulk.

 in turn my sulking was in truth black mail, and she was not being rude, or mean she was merely honestly saying:

 NO..stuff this sh*T....your wasting my time.

Looking back on it now, i shouldve commended her, instead of take the other route, witch offcourse brings me to this post and my issue..my issue is not with time, it’s with the people who don’t value theirs, can’t stand up to others ,  arent selfish enough to protect it,  and dont put there feet down and say:

NO..stuff this sh*T....your wasting my time...when it is required.

now we all know that time is precious, and that it’s a gift, and to some it’s even a love language,but please lets make things clear, others people's time, is not yours to hold randsom, abuse or misuse, nevermind demand, just because you dont have the skills to manage yours, it doesnt mean that you get to emotionally black mail those that do, and therefore only have a hour for you.

witch brings me back to the self, unfortunatley your lack of rest, reading or downtime is no- ones fault but your own, stop handing out your gold as though its never ending, spend that sh*t on the right things and for the right reasons.

So if no one has formally given you the premission to be selfish with your time.- here it goes:

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO, WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY..

You have the right to tell people NO..stuff this sh*T....your wasting my time.

 

But you dont have the right to emotionally black mail your friends and loved ones, cause they chose themselves over spending time with you.

 

"F.. you I matter and my time is precious "  - If you cant handle that- there is the door.

 

 

StilettoRambler.

 

(PS: thanks for the reminder B, and the lesson to )