StilettoRambler

STOP bullying your Self RESPECT!

Self-Respect - A proper respect for oneself as a human being - it is defined as holding yourself in esteem and believing that you are good and worthy of being treated well.

Bullying - Abuse –nuff said.

A person with self-respect simply likes her- or himself. self-respect is not contingent on success because failure is a part of life. Neither is it a result of comparing ourselves with others because we are and can never  be the same.

for me, it means being true to yourself, being able to accept criticism but not allowing it to alter your inner being. it is not reliant on successes, social standing or wealth, its an inner confidence and assurance in yourself, its accepting your mistakes, it is about being true to yourself at all costs and most importantly, its about standing up for that truth.

My truth is that I matter and therefore I deserve only the best, anything that tries to break that truth has gots to go.

My truth is that I am lovable and I deserve love  - unrequited, unconditional love and any person or element that tries to challenge that truth has gots to go.

My truth is that I am worthy of living my best life and any person or element that thinks I dont, has gots to go.

My truth is that I believe in myself and my decisions and if you have a problem with that you have ..guessed it - GOTS TO GO.

What I have come to learn is that the only way that I can preserve the jewel that is my self- respect is by tackling all alien elements that try to attack it and the first place for me to usually start is inside.

So, this post is aimed at people who are constantly bullying their self respect into emotional disdain, pain, incivility and ungraciousness;

people that  continue to have friendships with emotionally unavailable friends and then go on to bully their self-respect in order to get back into a relationship with them.

It’s for the gentlemen out there whom have been used time and time again because they are good peoples, and have managed to bully their self-respect into still sticking around with the hope that she will see him for the king that he is or because they think that after they pull off  enough acts of service they will get the respect that they deserve.

It’s for the women out there who think that they can’t get better and would rather rekindle lost love with an old flame or better yet stay put in the hell hole that they are currently in because they can’t stand up to their inner bully.

It’s for the person who got a great job offer at another company, got a weak A$$ counter offer from their current employer and bullied themselves into staying with the abusive boss because they like the coffee – (okay lets be fair that’s ridiculous, but what’s not ridiculous is some of the nonsensical things people put themselves through cause they are constantly bullying their self-respect.

And lastly it’s for the person who is very quick to compliment you on your attitude, outlook on life and or looks and THEN in the same breath spits on themselves in front of you!!!!

You know them; 

• “I love those jeans on you…but I could never wear them with my thighs”

•  “Your hair is great like that, mine is to xyz to ever do that”

• “You know I care a lot about you, I just don’t want a relationship right now”

• “I know they aren’t the world’s best spouse, but it’s better than the crap that’s out there, have you seen how people struggle to date lately”

 I think it’s time we stop bullying our self-respect. So if you are reading this and you’re a self-respect bully – Just stop it– it’s not a good look.

It totally irks me, when I come across beautiful healthy brimming functioning souls, and I listen to some of the things that they say about themselves or the way that they rationalize nonsense to themselves.

It’s downright nasty and honestly I consider it - verbal  and emotional assault on the self. 

I don’t know how often I have encouraged people that they need to get over themselves, ( and by that I mean that they think they are above doing the work that they need to do on the self)  or to stop the pity partying, or to stop constantly being negative and just get on with living their best lives.

I often ask people who are putting themselves through nonsense.

" have you met yourself?" 

cause if you did  trust me when i say "you wouldn't allow any of the crap you are putting yourself through"

Its a fact; that when you talk to yourself differently, your brain starts to create new thought patterns, it actually replaces the negative ones with more positive thoughts. so break those cycles and free yourself of this self created prison.

I promise you, that things will get better, but you actually need to invest in that better. 

You can do anything that you want to; but positive action is required.

And if none has ever told you this, or your friends are too busy enjoying your misery because it makes for great coffee dates then here it is:

•  Emotionally unavailable friends that pull ultimatums on you and still want a friendship with your self-respect don’t deserve it BECAUSE YOU MATTER.

•   If they cannot commit to you – they are JUST not that into you let that go already - YOU DESERVE BETTER

•  Rather the devil you know then the one you don’t, is a vapid senseless saying and I urge you to step out  of your comfort zone and start moving towards emotional health - “You think because he doesn't love you that you are worthless. YOU ARE NOT
• You think that because he doesn't want you anymore that he is right -- that his judgement and opinions of you are correct. They aren’t.. so let him go.

And lastly the next time you come across someone who compliments you and speaks negatively of themselves, kindly let them know that you can’t take their compliment if they speak ill of themselves. 

If you have been on the journey to better yourself you should be very proud of yourself. I know I am.

If you catch your inner bully trying to surface because they tend to,  put them to bed.

If its the first time your reading this blog and you have noticed that you have been bullying your self respect than start the journey to emotional well-being today,  because you deserve your best life, you can be the best version of yourself and you matter. 

StillettoRambler