StilettoRambler

 A Friendship with your Ex..? Hold onto your SELF -Respect Instead.

 

 "Your ex- is not your friend" - Stiletto truth

Breakups- are hard pieces of fruits to swallow- it requires a lot of self work and requires you to literally rewire yourself into putting yourself first, accepting that things will never be the same ever and then the hardest part to come to terms with for most- it’s the notion that suddenly out of the blue you are suppose to pretend to not know someone whom you may have shared lifetimes, moments and even seasons with.

So it brings me to question and wonder about the beautiful phenomenon (more  often witnessed with women than men)  that being the age old question of… remaining friends?

Ladies we all know what it means for a man when he or you realizes his in the friend zone..

SO ….It really is an interesting thing for me, the after break up friendship...., I have crossed in my path a couple of times both with girlfriends and myself  and this is why I have to ask…

                                          Why?  …. Why? And What for?  

Could it be that maybe DEEP down inside the reason why this is remotely plausible is because we want to feel valid?

 The absence of love is now missing so in and attempt to stay validated we shrink ourselves down and opt for the hand of friendship instead?

It’s like the last viable alternative to validating that we once mattered, that we are still important and since we invested so heavily it seems like the right alternative right? …..wrong!

It really comes down to not having that much self respect for ourselves or for our Exes , its selfish …..If they did matter to you, then allow them to move on.

 Allow them to heal, allow yourself to move one, allow. Yourself. to .heal, take the lessons learned, close the chapter, wash your hands and move one.

Because sticking around is hoping that with time,  they may miss you, see just how great you are, it’s a terrible attempt at a second class ego stoke  its wanting a pinkie , when you once owned the hand.

Here is my wisdom for the day: 

 if someone treated you with less love, less respect, less care,  then taking the hand of friendship CANNOT by any means be allowed, don’t get me wrong being amicable is great and mature, but your ex- is not your friend,

 Chances are they never really where… and you need to come to terms with that, you wouldn’t really be friends with someone that treated you badly and didn’t have your best interest at heart—so what makes them so special?

Let’s keep our dignity intact shall we? Herewith my thought starters to assist you to put on those heels, or button up that suit put on your dancing shoes and paint the town red:

·         When something breaks- that means that it’s broken, and for good reason.

·         You’ll get another chance at love- be open to it!

·         Being friends puts your healing on a back burner- it delays the inevitable, its delays your happiness and inner peace.

·         Your putting the breakup on their terms- take the power back! (set fire to the rain)

·         Your keeping the door open- closes it.

But mostly you’re undervaluing your own awesomeness.

Your Thoughts?

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