StilettoRambler

Manipulation……would you like some tea for your pity party…?

Definition- exerting shrewd or devious influence especially for one's own advantage

OR

 As I like to put it, pulling the strings…

This post is about using the right tools in a relationship to get what you want out of it, and as you can tell by the heading I don’t encourage manipulation…now

There are a couple of different types of manipulation, but the four we come across the most in relationships are:

“The Poor Me”: not the most direct and assertive approach if you ask me, but the poor me always take on the form of the victim, “nobody loves me” , I will just struggle on my own” I am all alone,  and in that sense are able to deceive their partners into feeling guilty and then forcing action out them.

 The Aloof:   Love these people…..they do it well, These people use withdrawal of self or love or their time, as a mechanism to control, they pull away and become vague, distant …causing the manipulatlee to try and pull information out of them, or regain their trust…thereby making them think that they are the only trusted ones, and there by coaxing the manipulator to get what they want.  Then off course

 The Interrogator:  “where have you been” who have you been with” you doing this and that means that you don’t care about me”…why do you wear that? It doesn’t look good,

These folk use criticism and interrogation to make the manipulatee feel less worthy, have doubt in themselves , basically they break you down … and thus then uses  power to get there victims to do what they want them to do..These people can get in your head so quietly that you won’t even know your butt is being puppeted

Then lastly, my least favourte of the bunch:

The Intimidator:  Stay the hell away from them… I REPEAT find the first exit and RUUUN.

I don’t need to tell you about these types, you know exactly when you are in their presence, the bully’s of the play grounds if you will

So there you have it, if you didn’t know you know do, if you don’t remember scan them again..

Know I have no, and I mean zero tolerance for manipulators ..,

 I am only as generous to kindly offer them tea and a cupcake to go together with their pity party…from the “poor me’s” to the “I can only trust you and that’s why I need your help (aloofs) to the interrogator and intimidator- I offer a cool “aaa shame”…would you like some tea with your mopping session.

If you’re wondering why I am so harsh on manipulators here is my answer:

If you feel the need to manipulate in your relationship and I mean  in ANY relationship, in order to get what you want and you simply cannot ask.

Then you are not building the blocks to a MUTUALLY Fulfilling relationship,- your controlling full stop.

The needs of yours that are getting met, are under false pretenses and thus the love being given is not real- its manipulated.

 If your needs are not being met,  or you want something done…you need to open your mouth (whether it be by text or in person) and do something about it,

Because trust me ………..manipulation has a shelf life..And once your partner is aware of your mind games..Its game over..

Its game over,  because they will become aware that you have been deceiving them via control methods, and then the next time you do require sympathy it will fall on death ears..

Besides if you are indeed, on a path of authenticity, and you are working on yourself respect and worth, you don’t need to manipulate,

And for those reading “ game recognizes game” you know have the tools to identify manipulators and thus they don’t look so unfamiliar anymore.

Be polite..Offer them a cup of tea for their pity party, or a cupcake until they are ready to chat..But for crying out loud….

Recognize the BS.

Your Thoughts?