Nasty Relationship
Habits …Dodgy Relationship destinies and Saving the Spark.
It all
started on a Sunday, I was watching a movie- The Iron Lady, (the
biography of Margaret
Thatcher),
Naturally being
one that is obsessed with words and how, when strung together, they bring about
sentences… that bring about meaning.. I came across this quote below:
“Watch
your actions for they become your habits. Watch your habits, for they become your
character. And watch your character, for it
becomes your destiny!” Margaret Thatcher
So there I am
staring habit straight in the face, with slight confusion…, habits… really
habits these usual practices or established customs if you will… CAN AFFECT MY
DESTINY
Suddenly they
don’t seem as innocent, or as unconscious as their practice….
“Still shell shocked....i repeat again, and get hit by an epiphany..
Really
can habits affect my destiny..?.” does that mean they can also affect the destiny
of a relationship..?
If I were to
treat a relationship, in its entirety as a whole entity.., then would it be
safe to say that as a relationship, you need to watch your actions, for they
become your habits, watch your habits for they become the relationships’
character?
And watch your relationships’ character as it
may become the relationships’ destiny..
Without having
to state the obvious, good habits would then lead to a good relationship destiny
and bad habits would move us to relationship stagnation(:(http://stilettorambler.blogspot.com/2012/07/relationship-stagnation.html). And ultimately a not so favourable relationship
destiny,
So I did some
research.. On bad relationship habits, and found millions of deal breakers, but
pulled out the ones, I thought to be the absolute cream of the crop:
Let’s start
with:
The TV habit: Where every night is a threesome..between you, him and the TV!
o
Don’t get me wrong it’s great to lie on the
couch and watch game of thrones together,
o
But
do you have to do it every night?
o
Will one day with a candlelight dinner and conversation
hurt? Maybe not know...but beware of ...eventually...
·
The Smart Phone (device) habit: you know this relationship habit, the
one that makes everyone plain RUDE! .it’s like it automatically gives
people the right to lose their manners.
o
.forgive
me for being on my phone, the one moment you and I can be alone and bask in each
other’s company, it’s just that my virtual relationship is much more fulfilling
than this one.
· The not Having S3X habit: Look nookie is not the be-all and end
all of a relationship, but getting into the habit of, watching TV, laying on
your smart devices and then falling asleep, cant be good for the destiny of
any relationship..
o
Yes I get it, you’re tired, fatigued and stressed
and the day has been long.
o
But maintenance is important, so change your
attitude, and service the engine, it will do wonders for your intimacy in the
long run.
·
The not dating habit: kill this habit as soon as you can!,
courting is an absolutely vital habit, in a relationship,
o
and
if you ask me, it’s a step closer to a better relationship destiny, being that
between you, him ,the TV, smart phone and the lack of intimacy, your turning
into strangers sharing space and are on route to stagnation-ville
Then there
are the silent relationship bad habits that actually have quite a deteriorating
effect on your ship, these being:
· The never arguing habit – take it from me, couples that don’t
argue, don’t talk, couples who don’t talk, never learn how to teach each other
how to treat each other.
,The
relationship then leads to a lobe sided affair ,where one is always comprising
and the other slowly growing resentment- speak up…. if boundaries are crossed, don’t
make it a habit of let things slide…cause letting it slide, gets you in the habit of confiding in others..
· The more talk, less action habit- your finally on that date night, and
then you spend the entire night talking about what is going wrong in the relationship
instead, of actually being PRESENT in the moment and enjoying the night with
your partner- NEWS-FLASH what you’re doing here is getting into the habit of turning
“date night” into “bitch session night!...STOP IT.
So with all that said, it leaves me with just one question:
What are your relationship habits…and
are they lining up your relationship for
a loving, connected , loyal , strong , healthy and mutually fulfilling relationship?
Stilettorambler
