NEVER Argue with someone who believes their own Bulshift(lies).

 

 

 

Arguing with someone; who believes their own lies, will leave you drained, will break down at your own self-worth and will send you down a delusional hole of feeling worthless, hurt, mistreated and betrayed.

A person cannot give you what they don’t have.

If they care more about something else, such as their own needs, winning, popularity , manipulation or control, these things will always take precedence over the truth, over love and over the effort you have put into your relationships.

Lies come from pain, pain comes from actions and wounds are what remain.

 

Wounds can be crippling and very often we  find ourselves at the peril of someone elses.

The trick is to have the insight and to recognize that it is not so much the person that you are arguing with but their wounds.

Once you understand the wound, you can better deal with the person, while keeping your self worth and respect intact.

I recently suffered a major back injury which had me on bed rest for almost three weeks.

 I had never noticed just how much wounds need to be nurtured or just how much care we put into feeling better when the pain is physical verses emotional. ( from physio, to relaxation; to being kind to myself to practicing patience.)

The injury itself was deeply painful and challenging and it made me turn into an unhappy depressed extra snappy bitch in a bed.

I had to reach out past my pride and invite a friend over for drinks one night, in a plight for sanity. Because this wound was turning me into a person that I was not.

A rude, mean, bitchy bear with a thorn in my foot.

Better yet it was starting to tell me lies, chipping at my sense of self and slowly taking its toll mentally and emotionally.

The craziest part of it all or the worst part of it all for me, is that I knew that I knew better.

 I knew despite the pain that I am a kind person, that I am caring and confident but my pain and anger was such a blinding force and it became easier to sit and have tea with the unhappy depressed extra snappy bitch in a bed while allowing her to feed me BS (i.e My lack of mobility meant I couldn’t see people anymore, nobody visited , which suddenly meant that nobody cared for me (the reality.. people are busy)

Three weeks later and I was nothing more than a slave to my pain, angry, sour and DELUSIONAL.

Time has gone by and we are better,  it was a slow process even the snapping turtle (me) in the mirror had started to notice the sun; that has been shining through her windows all along.

I know find myself having done the work and smiling again, but it did also open my eyes to wounds and pain and lies.

 Yes be it that mine was physical, it did not take away from the POWER that wounds and pain can have over us

I realized that wounds whether self-inflicted, imaginary or not, are tricky bastards; because wounds and pain lie to us and in our attempts to self soothe and manage we believe the lies our minds tell us and we tangle ourselves further in life limiting strings.

It also got me thinking about how wounds in the physical can help one better understand and heal emotional wounds.

Hear me out (and no i am not smoking anything)

 

“what If we treated people as a wound”

Treat your angry lover or difficult friend like a big old slipped disc; that needs patience and nurturing and love? Imagine if we did…..

Would it then not be easier for us to cater to and understand them?

If we treated a broken heart as if it was sprained ankle, how quickly would we not  give it time to heal? , be understanding,  not over exert it, allow it to take slow steps to walking again?

If Anger where a cut on your arm …

If Unhappiness was a headache ….

 If Trust was a broken toe ….

If friendship was an injured back…

 

crazy i know, but think about it.

All and all, you should not argue with someone that lies to themselves and tries to blame you for their pain, loneliness, anger and resent STEP OUT OF THAT LINE OF FIRE.

STANDING FOR THAT KIND OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOYAL, A GOOD PERSON OR CARING. ITS MAKES YOU STUPID.

Instead you should rather treat them with the truths that you see within them, don’t let them mirror their wounds onto you, gift them with the grace, patience, and understanding that you would a painful wound.

 Allow them to walk slower, take more time to trust, share at their own pace, rest if they need, leave if they must, scream, vent , cry, but don’t get in a back and forth with them about the lies that they have told themselves and may be projecting onto you.

dont coddle their wounds. dont be misused by them either, Instead be the annoying light of truth that they need to heal.

See the wound, understand that it is the wound that is fighting you.

I think that armed with this knowledge and awareness  one could have so much more power in life and in love.

You will not only know your own bulshift and how to keep yourself motivated happy and at peace, but you will also be careful for when you find yourselves engaging with somebody who lacks the awareness of their OWN wounds.

Your thoughts

StilettoRambler

 

 

 

 

The Fake Circle of Trust and A step towards self-awareness.

 

 

 It happens quite quickly.....

Life is busy and we meet people and circumstances like kids, and boyfriends or engagements and friends of friends or work puts us into situations where we form relationships with strangers whom slowly progress and become friendships.

Before you know it, you see and share more with your new stranger friendships, you focus on the things you have in common; these become the ties that bind you, and then before you know it there you are in a circle of trust, or so you think because this is the perception being orchestrated.

Time goes by and in your delusion you assume that you have established a great big bond and own yourself a great bunch of friends.

Shift then slowly starts creeping through the woodworks and you land up having to ask yourself questions like....

Are you giving away trust toooo easily? And then land up selling yourself short?

Seriously?

Have you ever been in a situation where you realized that you were TOTALLY delusional about your “Friendship circle of trust” or the other circles that you were floating around in?

Where you were under the impression that because you had welcomed people into yours; that you where automatically a part of theirs?

And then you find yourself hypothetically sitting on a payment sounding as pathetic as that hello song of Adele’s once the truth has set you free?
I have, and it was a great lesson in self-awareness, one that I would like to share with you.

Because, let’s face it, it’s a tough blow to realize that the circle was all a lie or that maybe you where to scared to see the truth of it all.

Over the past few months I have had to take a step back and work out my “Circle of Trust” and the circles within them, in order to help myself to get  an “at glance “view of my own little world (a more truer view if you will.)

The lesson that I have learnt is that, just because someone is in your life alot, and you share many things with them both fun and intimate and motivational caring and all that jazz, it doesn’t mean that they should be in the circle, or that you are in theirs. (Obvious when you think about it I know) but not so clear cut in living colour.

so.

If you have ever been future faked into a “friendship circle of trust” I would recommend looking at your friendship circle of trust, seeing who is in there? and most importantly why they are in there.. … it is a great exercise in building self-awareness because changing the interpretations in your mind allows you to change your emotions.

Changing your emotions, allows you to gain back your power , understand your self worth and makes it easier to let go of the people that no longer need to be in your life or want to be in your life.

Because once we understand our worth and are self aware we need not allow ourselves to sit on payments listening to Adele’s hello on repeat.

If you have been a victim of a future faked circle of trust, don’t be too hard on yourself.

Understand that you may have looked at things through rose coloured glasses, forgive them, forgive yourself and be more protective of your trust and your heart.

But most importantly keep striving to be a genuine authentic person open to mutually fulfilling friendships.

Your thoughts?
StilettoRambler