Missing your Ex?... Single? ….Broken up?... In a Relationship?...
Married or just dreading seeing the
relatives – Christmas ramblings for your sanity.
Before I start, I just want
to state that I have no problems with Christmas or Christmas time.
My issue lies in the fact that for some
reason, people just lose their sanity…no seriously.. THEY GO NUTS.. self-esteems get tested, drunk dialling is on a all-time high.
Being single is suddenly a
crime, long term girlfriends thinks it’s a viable time to push their boyfriends
into engagements or babies.
Married couples fight about witch family members to
spend Christmas with, estranged relatives who make no effort with each other throughout the year..... Seemingly think
that they should just magically push everything under the carpet and pretend
all is fine.... and ignore the white elephant in the room if you will..
People wait until the holiday season is over to end relationships, they " keep it together for Christmas" and in turn spend their festive season future faking it with their unsuspecting partner..
..see what I mean … nuts ... bonkers ..crazy
Anyhoo so..
I find myself sitting at a cafe
in town today.. plus minus 5 days to Christmas, randomly sharing a table with
four guys, who lets just call them dick, wank , Gary and speedy.
We are, chatting over a coffee
and one of them happens to mentions that his girlfriend has just broken up with him.
Instantly I ramble off “well on the flip side it’s a great time of the year
to be single…"with a frown on his
face he sternly says “ no not really..”
Trailing along with the randomness
of the day, I start to dwell on this one day out of the 354 other days in a year, or
should I say (festive season) that seemingly puts ALOT of pressure on couples, singletons ,friends, and family
members…pressure to reconcile, forgive, make nice, tolerate , blah blah…blah ..blegh..
and it leaves me at a firm..
COME ONE GUYS…it’s on day
of the year, can we just keep that in mind, so that we can assist our perspective radar to keep functioning…instead of malfunctioning.
I get it, it’s a special time
of the year, and whom you spend it with is important and special but let’s not forget : you are someone too:, and spending time
with yourself is not an indicator of failing, not being loved or some sign of
being doomed as an individual.
My advice for the newly singletons this festive season
is a simple one.MAKE PLANS! :) Spend time alone, have some R&R, catch up with friends you haven’t scene in a while, go out, look fab, drink , talk smack and go home!
Your single now, not
banished to a world of doom and gloom, if you’re going to let someone who choose to
leave your fabulous ass , be the reason that your festivities are ruined then.
1.
You’re making it about them. Make it about you
-Take your power back.
2.
Stop ruining your
own Christmas and remember
3.
It’s YOUR holiday season-
set it on fire!
Then for those Divas and Divos who have just broken up a few months
ago from a long term relationship, and will be spending their first Christmas "Uncoupled"…be
mindful that it’s the season of nostalgia…
then remember that nostalgia coupled with vino..champers and
ciders..is a deadly mix
So drunk dialling, or
wondering how our Ex is doing, or whether or not you should send a Christmas sms
” or an sms just to pop in and say hi…”…. Or a call to catch up…is normal and likely…
but please
Don’t…..
Just seek attention
somewhere else.
One day out of the year is
not magically going to change the reasons why you broke up in the first place,
or magically have changed the person that you left behind...
One day out of the year is not a sudden reason you should
make contact,…
Remember,that when having dated for so long we build traditions and habits with our partners at the time, so listen carefully...
you’re not missing the person, your mourning\missing the habit
or familiarity if you will.( you guessed it ..nostalgia!!!).
In the same breathe it also doesn’t mean
you get to allow them to contact you…pop back into your life,catch up.. or say hi...
Don’t be that person who got lonely during the festive season and
landed up having a holiday fling with good old faithful…..that's just not cute. (never mind progressive towards your healing and how far you have already come.)
Then ...Married couples out their…if
your family is split up these holidays or simply don't get along with each other... and you cant decide witch partners family members to spend the
festive seasons with ,
1.find a compromise that makes you both happy, or
2. If you cant
then, spend the day together as a family ( i.e you, your wife and kids ) and see
the other families members on the 26th
– it is family day after all.
