StilettoRambler

Nasty Relationship Habits …Dodgy Relationship destinies and Saving the Spark.

 

 

It all started on a Sunday, I was watching a movie- The Iron Lady, (the biography of Margaret Thatcher),

Naturally being one that is obsessed with words and how, when strung together, they bring about sentences… that bring about  meaning.. I came across this quote below:

“Watch your actions for they become your habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny!” Margaret Thatcher

So there I am staring habit straight in the face, with slight confusion…, habits… really habits these usual practices or established customs if you will… CAN AFFECT MY DESTINY

Suddenly they don’t seem as innocent, or as unconscious as their practice….

 “Still shell shocked....i repeat again, and get hit by an epiphany..

Really can habits affect my destiny..?.” does that mean they can also affect the destiny of a relationship..?

If I were to treat a relationship, in its entirety as a whole entity.., then would it be safe to say that as a relationship, you need to watch your actions, for they become your habits, watch your habits for they become the relationships’ character?

 And watch your relationships’ character as it may become the relationships’ destiny..

Without having to state the obvious, good habits would then lead to a good relationship destiny and bad habits would move us to relationship stagnation(:(http://stilettorambler.blogspot.com/2012/07/relationship-stagnation.html).  And ultimately a not so favourable relationship destiny,

So I did some research.. On bad relationship habits, and found millions of deal breakers, but pulled out the ones, I thought to be the absolute cream of the crop:

Let’s start with:

  The TV habit: Where every night is a threesome..between you, him and the TV!

o    Don’t get me wrong it’s great to lie on the couch and watch game of thrones together,

o   But do you have to do it every night?

o    Will one day with a candlelight dinner and conversation hurt? Maybe not know...but beware of ...eventually...

 

·  The Smart Phone (device) habit: you know this relationship habit, the one that  makes everyone  plain RUDE! .it’s like it automatically gives people the  right to lose their manners.

o   .forgive me for being on my phone, the one moment you and I can be alone and bask in each other’s company, it’s just that my virtual relationship is much more fulfilling than this one.

 

    Then offcourse 

·    The not Having S3X habit: Look nookie is not the be-all and end all of a relationship, but getting into the habit of, watching TV, laying on your smart devices and then falling asleep, cant be good for the destiny of any relationship..

o    Yes I get it, you’re tired, fatigued and stressed and the day has been long.

o    But maintenance is important, so change your attitude, and service the engine, it will do wonders for your intimacy in the long run.

·  The not dating habit: kill this habit as soon as you can!, courting is an absolutely vital habit, in a relationship,

o   and if you ask me, it’s a step closer to a better relationship destiny, being that between you, him ,the TV, smart phone and the lack of intimacy, your turning into strangers sharing space and are on route to stagnation-ville

Then there are the silent relationship bad habits that actually have quite a deteriorating effect on your ship, these being:

·  The never arguing habit – take it from me, couples that don’t argue, don’t talk, couples who don’t talk, never learn how to teach each other how to treat each other.

,The relationship then leads to a lobe sided affair ,where one is always comprising and the other slowly growing resentment- speak up…. if boundaries are crossed, don’t make it a habit of let things slide…cause letting it slide, gets you in the habit of confiding in others..

·   The more talk, less action habit- your finally on that date night, and then you spend the entire night talking about what is going wrong in the relationship instead, of actually being PRESENT in the moment and enjoying the night with your partner- NEWS-FLASH what you’re doing here is getting into the habit of turning “date night” into “bitch session night!...STOP IT.

So with all that said, it leaves me with just one question:

What are your relationship habits…and are they lining up your relationship  for a loving, connected , loyal , strong , healthy and mutually fulfilling relationship?

Stilettorambler