Break- Ups have collateral damage..They are called friends …Be different
Relationships of all kind are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand,
the sand remains where it is.
The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on ,the sand trickles through your fingers.”
How often have you broken up with a man to find out that you don’t own a single friend?...
You don’t own a single shoulder to lean on, due to the fact that they were all his friends?
Why……………… his friends?
Well along the way and ( I see this often….. and have experienced it with my very first relationship)….
Along the way you managed to neglect and or lose all yours.. as you were toooo busy delving into his life…
It’s a common fact that when we split up from a relationship we are bound to lose some acquaintances \friends we use to spend a lot of time with when we where dating..
This I have discovered is one of the toughest aftershocks of a break up… next to the terrible heart ache ..and lack of colour in the day….the other silent killer is this…
The phone is quite… your social statues is changing and the invites to all the parties are MIA….its tumble weed and silence ….tumble weed and silence
Tumble weed and silence that is, for those , who did not maintain a sense of ourselves in our relationships, ..........for those who did not guard their friendships … treat them with care...
You know who you are….
You’re not the first, nor will you be the last person to feel abandoned by these so called friends that have now abandoned you socially, but before we play the blame game, and spit fire.... lets allow ourselves to have a look inward …
If you are one of those lovelies, that tends to morph into the female version of your mate,
who starts to talk like them, have your eggs like them, take one their taste in music, spend every living moment with them and their friends and start shedding things that aren’t in line with that the new “we” or YOU ….., like your old friends...
than this post is for you…
secondly if you can identify that this is what you are busy doing... then I also implore you to pay attention to what I am about to say:
Relationships come and go..But true friendship is eternal…relationships have reasons, seasons and all that junk but they can end… i am not saying they should or that one should have a safety net, but the reality is more often then non relationships they have expiry dates ...
So as off today start getting your priorities straight…..
· Your boyfriend or husband CANNOT be your best friend…most trusted, most understanding..but only and best friend..is not a good idea.
· Your friends are there for a good reason…to pick you up when you are down, or call your BS when need be,or to give you breathing space from hubby,,,, so value them
· Its important to have a sounding board…and as much as you would like to disagree with me…TRUST ME
that best friend\ boyfriend or husband of yours …wont take lightly to you telling them about just how fed up you are with them.
that best friend\ boyfriend or husband of yours …wont take lightly to you telling them about just how fed up you are with them.
· But mostly relationships can come and go, but true friendship is eternal.
So if you have been neglecting someone in your, life because you are knee deep in your relationship, give them a call, or take them for coffee.
Integrate your friends into your new relationship ….your friends are your family and your new love needs to take you as you come.
Your thoughts?
Your thoughts?
agreed! your bf cannot be everything to you. every person in your life fulfills a different need and there needs to be space for that, but more importantly, this space needs to be respected.
ReplyDeletethe one thing we forget very quickly is that people-experiences grow you. you cannot commit to a relationship and suddenly drop everything (one) else - your growth will stop too.
that all important balance is key!
Your absolutely correct, pay it forward next time you see this happening to someone.
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