StilettoRambler

Mind F*CKERY- schizophrenic Inconsistencies In Identities…and Behaviour..



The Mind F*ckery Dilemma

Happy New Year ALL, may your journey of cutting out the BS and nonsense move full steam ahead in 2013.

May you live everyday to a truer and more authentic you, and may the flag of your self respect rise higher than ever.
 

So as usual I find myself sitting, where I find myself sitting, I find myself watching, what I find  myself seeing… and then off course I start picking apart the pieces.

On good days I will let your behaviour slide…”with a keep your Drama attitude” ,

On reflective days I will silently sit and judge you “ with a shaking my head attitude”

and on the NO MORE BS days like today, I will tell it to you ,as it is.

This post is about another phenomenon … (witch mind u I am yet to name)….. one that I have come across over the holidays and the first few weeks of January,

  it’s defined by the human nature of consistly  having  serious- inconsistencies- in- identities -  AKA the Mind F*ckery dilemma-

Thus far I have summarised these inconsistencies as follows:

·     There are those who have  really solid respectable and mutually fufilling family and friendship relationships---- boundaries intact and all-----but then I find them dating absolute pond scum, or are involved in some seriously dodgy excuses for relationships.

·    Then there are those who have  solid respectable romantic and friendship relationships------- teaching people almost every day how they expect to be treated.... but then suffer from complete Cinderella syndrome at home!

·     Then finally there are those people who have these boundary-filled family and romantic relations in order and down to a tee... but have the

staring roles in their friendship circles as

 the -Push-over-NO-back–bone-homie”.

I simply don’t understand how one can have such inconsistencies in ones identity,behaviour or needs and wants if you will,

and thankfully  if not highlighted to me, I would still be the starlet in one of the above mentioned roles.

I had to sit and ask the tough question the other day to a not so impressed aquaintence..

- that of “

How on this blue and green earth can you have great solid friendships and family relationships but in the dating world your fishing in a dump that use to be a pond, or your involved with the king of frog lake?

 You let your family run your life??, or be all up in  your business, or miss use you,?  and or are owning the starring role in your friendships as “Mr or Mrs --Push- over-  No -back –bone- Homie?

Seriously your hard working a$$  is being be taken  for a complete fool.

Is this one of those things that’s caught on the Blind side of the self?

Sometimes I wonder if people are even aware of these inconsistencies….

These schizophrenic identities…

 Do you realise that is easy for you to put your foot down when your friends treat you out of line, but you  let your boyfriends and or husbands dictate, rule and ruin your self-esteem and worth?

Has it occurred to you that you won’t take shi*t from your friends but when you get home you revert back to a two year old child with no backbone, or identity, and everything suddenly changes to “Yes mom” OR  “ As you wish Dad”

Regardless of whether it is in line with your behavioural standards …Or what is considered acceptable to YOU!

Do you? No really do you?

 can you see that somwhere you may be faking it?

i mean are you really a self respecting girlfriend? or are u actually the friend that can never say no? and thus is contiunalty taken advantage of?

Because if YOU were.... then your ball busting boundary protecting self worth preaching a$$ -  Shouldnt  have the nerve to come tell me crap, if at home or with you mate you back bone is somewhere lost in translation

...do know how much it devalues your opinion..on anything remotely authentic or value based?

Here's the deal,

Unfortunately your boundaries are your boundaries FULL STOP….

They aren’t things that have on \off switches, and there is NEVER A valid reason under this sun for you to have loopholes, or clauses in them.

 if it is not how you want to be treated, if it is not acceptable to YOU, then you speak up and you put your foot down,

 Don’t give me that BS about “ its my mum” or “ he isn’t always this way” or “ we have been friends for forever” – I don’t care-  that doesnt justify their behaviour- you do..so take your foot out of your mouth an speak up.

There is no way in this green and blue earth that you can have boundaries in 1 relationship, and then none in the other.

 That doesn’t serve your growth as a person,

That doesn’t mean you know your self worth…. that doesnt justify your journey

And it surely doesn’t help others respect you…

.stop faking it…stop pretending that you are your main priority,  and for pete sake

Start walking the walk with EVERYONE.

Your Thoughts ?