The Recovering Doormat
"Don’t allow your wounds to turn you into
a person you are not"
Its seems that more often than none beneath every strong
women or man lies a broken little girl or boy whom either has learnt to stand
up again and accept their past, moved on and have decided never to depend on
anyone again OR
Hasn’t stood up yet
and is waiting to be found or rescued OR
Constantly chooses
the role of the victim – the poor sap of a person who is nothing except a
product of their circumstances their pain and their broken pieces better known as the victim mentality.
That person in your
life that’s lives with the “poor-me attitude”.
Those friends or family member’s including ourselves who are
allergic to taking responsibility for our actions.
The believe that the
world is always against you and life is just SIMPLY unfair
Those who are life’s constant underdogs, unfortunates, doomed
beings, that constantly demand rescuing.
What psychologists refers to as “people that are afraid of taking responsibility for their own wants
and desires and have a fear of failure
and unconsciously believe they are not deserving of having good things in their
life”.
The soul grating self.
The person who gets to take no accountability for their
life, ALWAYS gets the sympathy of others whether earned or demanded and gets to
burn bridges and spit fire to whomever comes in their way.
In the dictionary defined as an acquired (learned) personality trait in which a person tends to regard themselves as a
victim of the negative actions of others, and behaves as if this were the case
even in the lack of clear evidence of such circumstances.
The master manipulators that suck sympathy out of you and
get to pass the buck on accountability and drain and drain and drain.
Today I would like to tackle these draining personalities or
self-traits if you will, the soul scratching comfort zone also known as the
victim mentality.
Nothing grates my soul and irritates me more than people who
constantly blame life and circumstances for who they are today and why they are
the way that they are.
I say this as a recovering doormat, a conqueror of the
victim personally, I say this after having met people who have overcome the
most devastating hurdles life can throw at them and are now pioneers of their
futures and not prisoners of their past.
I would like to reach out to those today, who love to life
in their misery, who have drinks with their pain and enjoy constant pity
parties but mostly I would like to share with them some thoughts on how to
sit with the broken, give a finger to the pain and cancel the plethora of pity
parties.
I always say this to people I meet, bad things can happened to
good people but great people take that experience take the lessons and build
their world to greatness so
Firstly -get
over yourself- I mean this in the most loving way, stop being so selfish we are all broken in one way or another.
Aren’t you tired of rewriting the same script? Isn’t it
enough now already? seriously can we either accept the past, or leave the
situation or change the situation BECAUSE anything else is sheer madness.
And I am not talking about once, I am talking about every
single time your demons of pain and anger ,resentment or spite creep up, I urge you to you SAY OUT LOAD TO YOURSELF - the devil is a liar, then break the pattern and change your behaviour and attitude to towards the circumstance or thought.
Secondly when pain knocks on your door I want you to say,
“Come in, sit with me, and leave only when you
have taught me what I need to know”
But please now that just because you are
welcome in my home, that it doesn’t mean that you are to cripple me, because I am
healing, I am a recovering doormat and you are here to teach! and if you don’t come with real growth lessons,
please leave! My happiness and emotional health is who I chose and you are no
longer welcome”
I for one am a firm believer that I must (as in I am obligated ) to let the pain visit me, I must let the pain teach me, I must understand
that my circumstances have nothing to do with what my future will look like. But
I cannot allow the pain or brokenness to overstay its visit or cripple me,
because it will and if I don’t stay vigilant of it as in call it out when i see the lies my heads feeling me , I will find myself turning
the lady at the hair salon into my therapist, I will push away love, I will not
trust and I will find myself alone, angry unfortunate and doomed
As friends or family of soul – graters, recovering doormats or
weather you are dealing with or confronting our own negativity its time to to stop validating the victim mentality. It’s time to stop partaking in
any any form of self- defeating drama from this point on.
Instead we need to remind our recovering doormats that they
need to embrace their ability to recover and achieve. And we need to remind ourselves
before we pour another shot for “poor ol me”
that we to need to stop validating our victim mentality
we need to not partake in all this self- defeating drama and embrace our
ability to recover and achieve...recover and achieve..recover and achieve.
Because do we want to be a prisoner of your past or do you
want to be a pioneer of YOUR future?
Your thoughts
StilettoRambler
