StilettoRambler

The Recovering Doormat

"Don’t allow your wounds to turn you into a person you are not"

Its seems that more often than none beneath every strong women or man lies a broken little girl or boy whom either has learnt to stand up again and accept their past, moved on and have decided never to depend on anyone again OR

Hasn’t stood up yet and is waiting to be found or rescued OR

Constantly chooses the role of the victim – the poor sap of a person who is nothing except a product of their circumstances their pain and their broken pieces better known as the victim mentality.

That person in your life that’s lives with the “poor-me attitude”.

Those friends or family member’s including ourselves who are allergic to taking responsibility for  our actions.

The believe that the world is always against you and life is just SIMPLY unfair

Those who are life’s constant underdogs, unfortunates, doomed beings, that constantly demand rescuing.

What psychologists refers to as “people that are afraid of taking responsibility for their own wants and desires and  have a fear of failure and unconsciously believe they are not deserving of having good things in their life”.

The soul grating self.

The person who gets to take no accountability for their life, ALWAYS gets the sympathy of others whether earned or demanded and gets to burn bridges and spit fire to whomever comes in their way.

In the dictionary defined as an acquired (learned) personality trait in which a person tends to regard themselves as a victim of the negative actions of others, and behaves as if this were the case even in the lack of clear evidence of such circumstances.

The master manipulators that suck sympathy out of you and get to pass the buck on accountability and drain and drain and drain.

Today I would like to tackle these draining personalities or self-traits if you will, the soul scratching comfort zone also known as the victim mentality.

Nothing grates my soul and irritates me more than people who constantly blame life and circumstances for who they are today and why they are the way that they are.

I say this as a recovering doormat, a conqueror of the victim personally, I say this after having met people who have overcome the most devastating hurdles life can throw at them and are now pioneers of their futures and not prisoners of their past.

I would like to reach out to those today, who love to life in their misery, who have drinks with their pain and enjoy constant pity parties but mostly I would like to share with them some thoughts on how to sit with the broken, give a finger to the pain and cancel the plethora of pity parties.

I always say this to people I meet, bad things can happened to good people but great people take that experience take the lessons and build their world to greatness so

Firstly    -get over yourself- I mean this in the most loving way,  stop being so selfish we are all broken in one way or another.

Aren’t you tired of rewriting the same script? Isn’t it enough now already? seriously can we either accept the past, or leave the situation or change the situation BECAUSE anything else is sheer madness.

And I am not talking about once, I am talking about every single time your demons of pain and anger ,resentment or spite creep up, I urge you to you  SAY OUT LOAD TO YOURSELF - the devil is a liar, then break the pattern and change your behaviour  and attitude to towards the circumstance or thought.

Secondly when pain knocks on your door I want you to say,

 “Come in, sit with me, and leave only when you have taught me what I need to know”

 But please now that just because you are welcome in my home, that it doesn’t mean that you are to cripple me, because I am healing, I am a recovering doormat and you are here to teach! and if you don’t come with real growth lessons, please leave! My happiness and emotional health is who I chose and you are no longer welcome”

I for one am a firm believer that I must (as in I am obligated ) to let the pain visit me, I must let the pain teach me, I must understand that my circumstances have nothing to do with what my future will look like. But I cannot allow the pain or brokenness to overstay its visit or cripple me, because it will and if I don’t stay vigilant of it as in call it out when i see the lies my heads feeling me , I will find myself turning the lady at the hair salon into my therapist, I will push away love, I will not trust and I will find myself alone, angry unfortunate and doomed

As friends or family of soul – graters, recovering doormats or weather you are dealing with or confronting our own negativity its time to  to stop validating the victim mentality. It’s time to stop partaking in any any form of self- defeating drama from this point on.

Instead we need to remind our recovering doormats that they need to embrace their ability to recover and achieve. And we need to remind ourselves before we pour another shot for “poor ol me”  that we to  need to stop validating our victim mentality we need to not partake in all this self- defeating drama and embrace our ability to recover and achieve...recover and achieve..recover and achieve.

Because do we want to be a prisoner of  your past or do you want to be a pioneer of YOUR future?

Your thoughts 

StilettoRambler