BEWARE OF THE SURROGATE BOYFRIEND
SYNDORME -The aftermaths of a break up that
we don’t notice.
Too often, I see
women devastated by their dating experiences. Despite their best efforts, men
never treat them the way they deserve to be treated.
The brave
ones leave, those that are steadfast and have made bigger commitments stay and
fight.
My post today is for the brave ones, who have left the comfort of a not
so prefect relationship and are willing to take a shot at new love.
Firstly , I know that building
your self-esteem and self- respect as a women and investing in yourself is hard
enough as it is, but it is also an on-going
process.
However what
gets my panties in a complete knot and makes me livid!Is the self – defeating behaviour
that ladies suddenly revert back to during the time spent mourning the loss and
healing from the pain of a break up.
Yes break ups
are hard – trust. And yes healing is work. But we are women. We can do many things at once.
The reason
for today’s rant is a simply to act as a reminder to anyone out there who may be victims
of the surrogate boyfriend syndrome
and are not aware of it.
it’s one thing that I have noticed falls wayside in the midst of
the storm that is the healing process.
Listen up,
Re- discovering the self,
does not have to happen at the cost of lowering the self‘s worth.
I repeat myself;
Re- discovering the
self, does not have to happen at the cost of lowering the self‘s worth.
The only
thing that has changed is that you are no longer in a couple. Nothing else.
You
are still beautiful, you are still worth the effort, you are still strong, you
still have power, your needs still matter and your wants are still important.
Taking BS from anyone is no longer allowed, nevermind the men\women we meet during our healing.
It’s been
proven that during a relationship women are more hell bent on asserting themselves
to their partners, sharing their needs, revaluating their needs, reinforcing their
boundaries - all the things that keep the SELF well balanced.
When experiencing
a break up however, it seems to rewire them, because now they are spending so
much time trying to heal, that they seem to have a temporary drop in their standards of self and self-worth , this is usaully evident by the resurfacing
self- defeating behaviours; - most often bought on by the new Mr Now. =surrogate boyfriend syndrome
All of sudden
crumbs are enough or accepted - where you see women setteling for whatever form of attention and time they can get from Mr
Now.
Suddenly their boundaries disappear,
standards are shaky.... and you will find that he now gets to control, manipulate or even more frustrating
- upset or misuse their already bleeding heart.
And before you they know it
they are a victim suffering from surrogate boyfriend syndrome
Forget the
fact that you have done the work on yourself, forget the fact that you built
your confidence and self-esteem to a point of happiness, NOo instead..
let’s let
Mr Temporary Boyfriend- Booty call – Distraction, make us sad, needy, wanting, insecure fools.
In my opinion
you’re committing a crime- you are now a grown up women and no longer the girl
that left the relationship.
in my oppinioin girls put up with Bull Shift, women don’t, and
if you can see yourself in this post today, it’s time to refocus the journey on you , your needs and wants and your strength and
your growth .
You didn’t come
this far to sell your self-worth for instant gratification and a quick
distraction.
Remember that healing is a process and that i goes in steps, know that a male companion is fine here and there but dont forget that Re- discovering the self, does not have to happen at the cost of lowering the self‘s worth.
change it today.
StilettoRambler
