NEVER Argue with someone who believes their own Bulshift(lies).
A
person cannot give you what they don’t have.
If they care more about something
else, such as their own needs, winning, popularity , manipulation or control, these things will
always take precedence over the truth, over love and over the effort you have
put into your relationships.
Lies
come from pain, pain comes from actions and wounds are what remain.
Wounds
can be crippling and very often we find ourselves at the peril of someone elses.
The
trick is to have the insight and to recognize that it is not so much the person
that you are arguing with but their wounds.
Once
you understand the wound, you can better deal with the person, while keeping your
self worth and respect intact.
I
recently suffered a major back injury which had me on bed rest for almost three
weeks.
I had never noticed just how much wounds need to be nurtured or just how
much care we put into feeling better when the pain is physical verses emotional. ( from physio, to relaxation; to being kind to myself to practicing patience.)
The
injury itself was deeply painful and challenging and it made me turn into an unhappy
depressed extra snappy bitch in a bed. I had to reach out past my pride and invite a friend over for drinks one night, in a plight for sanity. Because this wound was turning me into a person that I was not.
A rude, mean, bitchy bear with a thorn in my foot.
Better yet it was starting to tell me lies, chipping at my sense of self and slowly taking its toll mentally and emotionally.
The
craziest part of it all or the worst part of it all for me, is that I knew that I knew
better.
I knew despite the pain that I am a kind person, that I am caring and
confident but my pain and anger was such a blinding force and it became easier
to sit and have tea with the unhappy depressed extra snappy bitch in a bed while allowing
her to feed me BS (i.e My lack of
mobility meant I couldn’t see people anymore, nobody visited , which suddenly
meant that nobody cared for me (the reality.. people are busy)
Three
weeks later and I was nothing more than a slave to my pain, angry, sour and DELUSIONAL.
Time
has gone by and we are better, it was a slow process even the
snapping turtle (me) in the mirror had started to notice the sun; that has been shining through her windows all
along.
I
know find myself having done the work and smiling again, but it did also open
my eyes to wounds and pain and lies.
Yes be it that mine was physical, it did not
take away from the POWER that wounds and pain can have over us
I
realized that wounds whether self-inflicted, imaginary or not, are tricky
bastards; because wounds and pain lie to us and in our attempts to self soothe
and manage we believe the lies our minds tell us and we tangle ourselves
further in life limiting strings.
It
also got me thinking about how wounds in the physical can help one better
understand and heal emotional wounds.
Hear
me out (and no i am not smoking anything)
“what If we treated people as a
wound”
Treat your angry lover or difficult friend like a big old slipped
disc; that needs patience and nurturing and love? Imagine if we did…..
Would it then
not be easier for us to cater to and understand them?
If
we treated a broken heart as if it was sprained ankle, how quickly would we not
give it time to heal? , be
understanding, not over exert it, allow
it to take slow steps to walking again?
If
Anger where a cut on your arm …
If
Unhappiness was a headache ….
If Trust was a broken toe ….
If
friendship was an injured back…
crazy i know, but think about it.
All
and all, you should not argue with someone that lies to themselves and tries to
blame you for their pain, loneliness, anger and resent STEP OUT OF THAT LINE OF FIRE.
STANDING FOR THAT KIND OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOYAL, A GOOD PERSON OR CARING. ITS MAKES YOU STUPID.
Instead
you should rather treat them with the truths that you see within them, don’t let
them mirror their wounds onto you, gift them with the grace, patience, and
understanding that you would a painful wound.Allow them to walk slower, take more time to trust, share at their own pace, rest if they need, leave if they must, scream, vent , cry, but don’t get in a back and forth with them about the lies that they have told themselves and may be projecting onto you.
See
the wound, understand that it is the wound that is fighting you.
I think that armed
with this knowledge and awareness one could have so much more power in
life and in love.
You will not only know your own bulshift and how to
keep yourself motivated happy and at peace, but you will also be careful for
when you find yourselves engaging with somebody who lacks the awareness of
their OWN wounds.
Your
thoughts
StilettoRambler
No comments:
Post a Comment