Friday 22 June 2012

INDEPENDENT WOMEN…gift?....curse?...and all the Jazz

“I may be a women of the desert, but I am still a women” Paulo Coelho the Alchemist

The online urban dictionary defines an independent women as:
: A woman who pays her own bills, buys her own things, and DOES NOT allow a man to affect her stability or self-confidence. She supports herself on her own entirely, and is proud to do so”
Music video rappers speak of a down- ass chick who, has her own money, pays for her own rent bills ,cars and can cook and clean , (and mind you she is ALWAYS bi- racial)
Music video rapper vixens, talk about how they are sexually liberated, and can get men to spend cash on them…but they can handle their own.
Men say they “want” them….. they “respect” sisters who are doing it for themselves…..women want to be them….musicians make millions writing lyrics to define them… the same men land up leaving them….these independent wonder women….you don’t want no scrubs and can pay their own bills bills bills,…..
And so I sit and I wonder…independent ……in – dep-en- dent - women….is it worth all the bells and whistles…. ?
Is it something I have to be???  Is it something all women have to be ??? Now that main stream TV, have idolised it?
Is it a gift …..Or is it a curse
Does it mean women can’t cry anymore? Is it the new word for strength?
Is it a threat to a relationship? Is there space for this type of women in a relationship?
                                         -  IN-DEP-EN-DENT-

What in the name of Zeus and all his sons does that mean?
….i can read the definition ….but if that’s it than I refuse … REFUSE!!!
so I can pay for a house and a car…and my self confidence is not affected by a man… *raised eyebrows*
I am sorry but isn’t that just stuff that grownups should do?? And secondly BS! BS! BS!
I have lived on this earth long enough and have met phenomenal women and I can promise you, I beg to differ..
SERIOUSLY..AM I GOING TO BE A PRISONER OF THE PAST, AND PEOPLES PRECEPT IONS? OR AM I GOING BE A PIONEER FOR THE FUTURE?
So I asked myself then….”what is your definition of an independent women????” ….and this is what I concluded on, feel free to add your own.
An Independent women:  is a women that has high standards for herself and the life she wants to live, as well as the legacy she wants to leave behind, she is strong..Resilient and  hardworking.
 She insists on being treated with respect, she is sensitive and intellectual but honest and direct and will bare her soul to those who need to see it.
She ignores the standard patterns of societal femininity (so yes she may work, wear pants and pay bills), but has great respect for her own femininity.
 She has a great hope for humanity and the ability to love unconditionally,
She will work to see others in life thrive (so yes she will feed a needy kid, give a helping hand.. or babysit for a friend, or offer a lift.)
She answers to herself first and to others second, she is accountable for her actions and the captain of her ship (life)
She is reaching for horizons, (stability, friends, a career, children, an education…a great love and fun family life …) ………..for change both for herself and for the world.
She is mysterious, humble and seeks intellectual stimulation first and foremost, and if she was blessed enough to have or have had a mother that taught her how to cook, then she can do that too
She likes nice things..Seriously can you blame her  ..she was being dolled up even before she knew what the colour pink was…
She knows her SELF worth, has an idea of how she wants to be loved and won’t compromise that !,
She is versatile, she is frivolous, she is fabulous ,
 she can rock a skirt just as hard as she can rock a tie,  and if need be she can change a tyre…
                                                                          BUT
                                                        SHE IS STILL A WOMEN
Sooooo regardless of how hard core and down ass she is…she still requires a gentle touch, a loving embrace,  a shoulder to lean on , a listening ear , help with the grocery bags, and the tyre changing or the spider on the window sill.
She is not an island of independence!
She is a conglomerate of inter – dep-en-dence  (the spoon needs the hand to lift it …..For it to be useful)
GUYS: Respect your women for what they are trying to achieve in life….and never forget at the top of the stem after all the thorns and leaves…sits a budding rose.
LADIES: Remain unstoppable…but allow him to open the door.
You thoughts?

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