StilettoRambler

Shape Shifter Girlfriends…”We have so much in common”- Give me a break.

This post is for the lady who has so much in common with her man, that she now allows him to get away with dissatisfactory behaviour and a lack of respect for her and her values, but the truth is that this so much in common is in the pursuit of being the perfect girlfriend.

I am very well aware of the silent need of every lady out there to be “little Miss Perfect girlfriend or wife”

How so , well I was there, and I do see it often, but before I begin I am going to state the following:

There is a difference in supporting your man’s hobbies and likes verses fully making them your own- shape shifting to become the female version of your man- doesn’t serve you any good, it devalues you.

Let’s use my experience as an example,  and lets use racing for the sake of the lesson and aim of this post, for years in a relationship  I had centuries ago, the interests I adopted were really not mine.

 I use to be  “that” girl, the one who could play, playstation games all night with the boys, cook them their favourite meal and then dawn my racing shirt the next day at the big racing event, cheering on the racers  and knowing the racers names, profiles etc.

But if someone had to find me at a play, art gallery or a paint festival, they would be gob smacked and I would get the :

Person:“ Wow I never  have thought you, as someone that is interested in arts”

Me: “what I love the arts my favouriite work is done by so and so, I always scroll the xyz pages to see shows coming up and I own my own paint set”

Person: “Wow it’s just that you have so much in common with your man, that I wouldn’t think this of you at all, I mean just last week I saw you at the races,  where is he by the way?”

Me: Oh well you know the “arts” aren’t really his thing, so I am flying solo”

With that said I will reiterate the following, it’s great when you truly have SOOOO much in common with your man, but if you are just shape shifting to be the perfect girlfriend,  then becoming the female version of your man- doesn’t serve you any good, it devalues you, makes you put your own interest second and stunt syour growth.

Him making his hobbies and likes  number one and you make them number one, only means YOU  both certainly don’t even share a common interest of YOU.

Convincing yourself that you have a lot in common and not perusing what gives you inner peace, what helps you grow , is simply your sexy butt shape- shifting, and shape shifting for all the wrong reasons.

Yes the ships we enter into involve supporting each other’s hobbies and interest but not by any means if it means that our own value and needs  and interests get sidelined.

No real relationship between two people is going to fail cause one likes gossip girl and the other enjoys fishing, at the same time please don’t expect each other to have the same passion you have for your knitting, and he has for his stamp collecting.

These individual needs , and break away sessions is what causes the health of a relationship to stay intact.

Relationships are the sum of two individuals and whilst it is handy to have things in common, it is ok to maintain some individuality too.

Your thoughts?