StilettoRambler

Life Lessons cont : The Graduate Program of life called- Loss

“if you dance at a lot of weddings , you will cry at a lot of funerals"

“We eventually lose everything that we have , yet  what ultimately  matters can never be lost,  Our houses, cars, jobs and even our loved ones are just on loan to us.  Like everything else our loved ones are not ours to keep, but realizing this truth should not sadden us,  to the contrarty, it should give us greater appreciation for the many wonderful  things and experiences we have during our time here and who we have it with”- Elizabeth Kebler-Ross”

Everything in life is temporary, everything ….and just like change loss is the only other constant, as we get older and live this experience we are in a constant journey of loss.

We lose friends when we move away, we lose childhood dreams,  we lose shoes, we lose clothes ,we lose innocence , we lose time , phone numbers, memories, we lose  our first loves, etc the reality is that we are not here permanently  and neither is our ownership of anything.

I  have experienced loses in my journey thus far both of the permanent and relational kind, and what I have come to learn is that loss is life and life is loss.

My focus of this post is relational loss, more commonly known as break ups… for all of you out there that are currently healing, or going through this process of loss, this post is to urge you to not fight the lessons that you are being taught -the lesson of healing and forgiveness, and to let your loved one go with well wishes and a caring smile.

This post is about urging you sit in the pain, sit in the pleasure, sit in the denial and sit in the bargaining, and off course the  anger,

Do not try and change any feeling you may have, and mostly give yourself a break, cause with loss comes the experience to cope with life,

·         Don’t ask why this is happening to you- Instead say I look forward to the lesson this holds.

·         Don’t try and get them to justify why they no longer want to be with you- instead thank them for the time spent and the journey travelled.

·         Don’t for a moment think that you are the problem , or that you are a failure-instead smile at the fact that you gave your best.

Know for a fact that time heals all , but time is wasted if you don’t do the work, you are only delaying your own lesson and happiness if you dont allow yourself time to sit in the denial, anger, resentment, or barraging of the process–if you gave a loved one years of your love , time and life, you are allowed to give yourself time to smile, cry and dance.

you are allowed to act a fool, you are allowed to not care, you are allowed to swear.

Perhaps one of lifes hardest lessons to learn, but possibly one of lifes most enrchinng lessons out there.

I am not urging you master loss, thats impossible we all deal differently with lose, and our healing cycle has it own time frame.

 i am asking to gracefully bow out of a relationship that no longer serves you, your growth, or the person you want to become, take the lesson from it, be grateful for the experience, look forward to never looking back.

And get excited about the doors that may soon be opening to you.

Your thoughts?