StilettoRambler

The Virtue of  Selfishness…Your BEST Asset..

 

 

 

“To love is to value. Only a rationally selfish man, a man of self-esteem, is capable of love - because he is the only man capable of holding firm, consistent, uncompromising, un-betrayed value. - Ayn Rrand:The Virtue of Selfishness

The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone” ― Ayn Rrand: The Virtue of Selfishness.

Defined: Virtue (aka advantage, benefit assets) --Behaviour showing high moral standards

Defined: Selfishness (.aka self- centeredness, egocentricity, greediness)--stinginess resulting from a concern for your own welfare and a disregard of others.

So the last few weeks, I have been intertwined in either conversations or events that have highlighted the various acts of selfishness... both within my own realm and strangers realms around me… I have witness outcry as friends, acquaintances and lovers, have put themselves first and their friends and loved one's second.

 I have seen lovers quarrel due to their partners self- centred-ness, and I have shared a drink with a beautiful mind, while conversations about selfishness and our own selfish endeavours ..remained on the forefront of our conversation… and as usual my restless mind starting jogging through  the paradigms that is human conditioning .. and it turns out…that my running lead me out of breathe to the following:

from the begging of time and from a very young age, we have been taught to care and nurture for others, not only where we taught this we were mind warpppped with this notion... of putting others needs ahead of our own… to be selfless in everything we do.

The collective… over the individual…. Ubuntu…first them, then me… ….

Selfishness (one of my favourite values) has in this process been regarded as a negative act or value if you will…today I would like to challenge that, cause its utter BULL SHIT… utter UTTER BS …being selfish  is actually a virtue… it is an asset… SO the question is this

Is there really something like a selfless act? Eeeeeeeeeeer  wrong ….I am afraid to break it to you but their isn’t J

“Love itself is a selfish emotion”. think about it.....

“When you marry or start dating someone .you agree to be faithful ,to that person in exchange for his or her faithfulness to you. “

We enter into relationships with conditions to protect our own self-interest and emotional preservation..

Consider this: you cannot say “I love you” without first saying “I”,

I am afraid it is with great pleasure that I  tell you that  “ all human motivations are based in selfishness”. ....stop acting so dam surprised when it happens...

When you volunteer for a cause, donate money to charity, or “pay it forward”, though many regard such an action as ‘selfless’ it really isn’t!!!!!

 Because helping people makes you feel good about yourself!!!

Let’s be ugly honest here shall we- A truly selfless act means you receive no sense of satisfaction or benefit from doing the act.

Don’t you just love ugly truths?

 I sure do,

So there it is guys..

The road to real authentisim is filled with ugly truths,

(http://stilettorambler.blogspot.com/2012/03/authenticity-living-from-core-of-whom.html)

Embracing and accepting them is the first step to living a more honest,” unsurprised- by- human behaviour – life” … with that in mind...

·         Own your selfishness..

·         Kindly stop pretending that it’s not about YOU AND YOURS …cause is it.

·         Don’t be bothered by people that call you selfish, they are just upset that they don’t have the balls to be.

·         Don’t feel guilty if you say no to friends and choose to stay in with a glass of wine.

·         Tell your lover if they haven’t fulfilled your needs…

·         Let your friends leave the party early – without being mad at them…we all know we are just angry because our needs weren’t met

• If your elationship no longer serves your needs- leave
• If you dont want to do something.. dont
• If you want to over nduldge - do..

 

In essence before we enter into relationships, we need to be mindfull and honest about the fact that we all a bunch of self – centred self-obsessed narcissistic beings and that’s ok!

Also I want us to stay aware that the people we enter into relationships with are too, so here is my tip, find a space where your selfishness and their selfishness can live happily ever after.

Your thoughts...?

(Inspired by Ayn Rands)