Cheating…Window shopping…keeping it on the low…uncovering the truth about cheaters…..
I have always had this notion that cheating is a two way process, cause and effect if you will… I have always thought of it as rather reactive, then proactive …act
I have always assumed that good people cheat ,because there is something lacking in their relationships, thus if my partner had to cheat on me and disclose this fact to me, my first question to myself would always be …
“Where did I go wrong” “was I not attentive enough” “should I have done this better? Or that better?”“why would my partner seek love somewhere else?”
Off course you can imagine that, having the point of view …………..that -punishment of the cheater wouldn’t be my first response, but introspection of my actions in the relationship would be..…. gets quite the eye brow raise, or an outright cry of NONSENSE!..... Around the company I may be keeping at that point.
Let me first clear the air, I am not talking about your habitual, passive-aggressive- image obsessed- selfish -sensationalist with a god complex, that thinks that they are better or smatter than the people around them, feed of off deceit and lies and get tickled by the adrenalin rush of keeping it on the low.
I am talking about your average monogamist that gets their fingers caught in someone else’s pie… and gets stuck their:
· Could it be that, some people cheat cause they feel the relationship is almost too good, so they try and taint it to take the pressure off being the template couple?.
· Could it be, because of fear of failure or mistakes, is it easier to cheat and test the waters , while still keeping your main partner cause you are afraid that you may be getting it all wrong? Or,
· Could it be a sad attempt at a way out of the relationship…? Is getting caught an easier out then simply doing the right thing and leaving?
· Or are these people deeply just emotionally unavailable but don’t want to face the mirror and so pretend to live the stable life?
Regardless of the why’s cheating is a deceitful act, but honestly some of those reasons sound quite appealing……?
why not just get caught instead or admit?
Why not have a safety net while testing the waters? Sure beats being the bad guy in the relationship ….!
Why not have the benefits of two, while you sort out witch one?
Well here is the why…..cause you’re wasting some else’s time and heart space, yes…yes I know it wasn’t meant to happen…. (it never really is) and you meant no harm….., ( you never really do ) and if that REALLY be the case, let the person go….
Admit the wrong and take the consequences that come, if they choose to forgive you without using that as ammunition for manipulation, then you are lucky- (seize that moment and treat your relationship better the second time round.)
If they hate the floor you walk on and condemn you to hell, swallow that pill too, you did after all you did, infuse pain on someone else.
But mostly live mindfully of your actions …. and make sure that what you do is in the best interest of yourself (even if that means leaving) , your path and your loved ones.
Your thoughts…?
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